Game of TF2hrones

gameofthrones

NOTE: Although there are no book spoilers in this post, caveat lector, because I will assume you’ve seen season 1 to 3.

This Sunday (Or Monday for all my European friends, including me) the Greatest Show on Earth started its fourth season. And let me tell you, we’re in for a treat this time.

Which got me wondering, what if this got paired with the Greatest Game on Earth? What would TF2 look like in a medieval setting- oh, wait. Which lead to another important question: what Game of Thrones characters represent our favorite team mercs the best? I came up with a list:

Scout: Joffrey Baratheon

An annoying arrogant brat that boasts he’s the best at everything. Completely inept on the subject of women, although one solves this with sadism, the other with awkward stammering.

Soldier: Eddard Stark

A strong warrior, for whom his country means everything. And as we see in the latest comic, they both cling to values to a fault. Soldier’s American values are almost his downfall because he refuses ‘communist’ food. Neds persistence to hang on to his is ultimately his end.

Pyro: Aerys Targaryen II

A deranged lunatic, fascinated by everything remotely fire-related. Also completely delusional, burning friend and foe to discover traitors, not unlike Spy-checking.

Demoman: Daenerys Targaryen

The last of his kind, well-equiped with weapons of mass destruction, whether dragons or stickies. They both had a troublesome childhood and are both well-trained in the act of escaping quickly. If you stand in their way, you will perish quickly.

Heavy: Robert Baratheon

Fat, slow, a good warrior but bad leaders. Besides, when they die, shit hits the fan.

Engineer: Petyr Baelish

Incredibly smart, soft spoken, and a tendency to stay in the background. Has a habit of letting others do his work for him while profiting from their actions, whether those others are people or buildings. Invests a lot, but is not afraid of destroying a long-term investment if it means profit; whether that is a prostitute or a sentry.

Also has a means to control one of those others completely: for one it’s blackmailing, for the other it’s the Wrangler.

Medic: Qyburn

A deranged doctor without any qualifications, interested in vivisection and wicked experimenting, thanked and loathed alike. This is actually almost a one-on-one comparison, except that Qyburn doesn’t speak German.

Sniper: Jaqen H’ghar

A smooth assassin, efficient, polite and efficient. You’ll never know what hit you. Just give him a name and the work is done. Defenitely a guy with a job, not a mental sickness.

Spy: Jaime Lannister

Backstabber, Kingslayer, Oathbreaker, traitor. Also has a habit to sleep with the mom of Scout/Joffrey and may well be the father, but don’t tell Scout/Joffrey, or he’ll get mad!

So this was my take on comparisons between TF2 and Game of Thrones characters. While some fit better than others, overall it’s a pretty solid fit. Can’t wait for cp_winterfell!

Uber is Coming!

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