Reviewing the Ratchet and Clank Movie

I waited a very long time to see the Ratchet and Clank movie, and now I’ve finally seen it, it’s time for a random review.

Meh.
Meh.

But before I start, it’s worth pointing out two things. Firstly, I always liked the Ratchet and Clank games. I have Ratchet and Clank 1 and 3, and Ratchet: Gladiator for the PS2. I don’t own a PS3 or a PS4, so sadly I’ll never be able to play the console exclusive sequels, or the newly released Ratchet and Clank remastered for the PS4. Like everyone though, I’ve always disliked the Clank Only levels. I know we need to keep him relevant but they’ve always been pretty… dull. I’ll definitely try and do a review of the games I have in the future, if I can get my PS2 working, because they are super fun games. Especially the second play through with level 10 weapons and bolt multipliers. Unfortunately for me, my 100% Ratchet and Clank 3 save is long gone.

Anyway, to the movie. The reason it took ages for me to see the Ratchet and Clank film was because in the cinemas here, it was only available in Greek. There’s no point paying money to see someone badly dubbed over Sylvester Stallone and the mishmash of voice actors, new and original, who’d come back to do this. Also, Ratchet and Clank is a kids’ film through and through. It’s not… really meant for adults like me.

The plot is standard. If you’ve played the PS4 remastered game, you know EXACTLY what will happen. You’ll have an idea what will happen if you’ve played the first game. Actually, it’s pretty obvious what will happen, since it follows the same kids’ movie logic. There’s the odd decent joke in there somewhere though, and the little scene intros provided some laughs which I appreciated.

What is really nice though is the animation, it’s totally a video game being turned into a movie, or a movie made out of cut scenes. The settings are stunning, the special effects are cool and everyone’s generally very nice to look at. Visually, the whole thing is absolutely amazing, and the locations would all make for really nice screen savers. The sound track is alright too, although I’m not a fan of ending movies with weird rap songs. It worked with Deadpool but it’s iffy with a film meant for children.

The main problem with the film is that there’s nowhere near enough action. There should have been battles all over the place, not montages. I think only one person actually dies in the entire movie, and he deserved it. Everything else is just robots blowing up, but unlike Clank, or even Clunk and Zephyr in the PS3 Ratchet and Clank Future games, because they’re robots with no personality or backstory, no one cares. Everything is a bit rushed and you barely see Ratchet and Clank blowing anything up in general. There’s a montage of Ratchet using the most popular weapons – everything from the pistols to the Spiral of Doom or whatever the fuck that dumb weapon is called. I never got why that weapon existed when the Buzz Blades are far superior in every way. The Swingshot pops up all the time and is used more than the Omni-Wrench at times. The Sheepinator, the Mag-Net and the RYNO all also make an appearance.

I did learn something though. I didn’t know that RYNO stood for Rip You a New One. Was good to see it in the movie though. Really, if there hadn’t been a RYNO in there somewhere, it would have completely popped the nostalgia bubble. Thanks for that, Dr. Nefarious. Also, nice bit of backstory for him. He was by far the best character, even if it took me a while to get used to him being a squishy.

Sadly, this is NOT an adult movie. Or a teenager movie. It’s cliché and childish and rams morals down your throat almost as hard as Zootopia pushes its anti-racism agenda. Ratchet and Clank fans will get a nostalgia hit, but everyone younger than the age of 12 will sigh, roll their eyes and go and watch any other 3D animated furry movie. It didn’t have that same touch Insomniac gives their games, and it was pretty clear that they didn’t really have that much of a say in it.

On the plus side, the movie ended up being useful, as pretty much all of it was used in the PS4 remaster of Ratchet and Clank. So that’s good.

My recommendation? It’s not worth it if you’re not a die hard fan or a kid. If you are, then luckily the movie is only an hour and a half long, so no one’s suffering too much. Ideally though, just go back and play the games.

Still better than the Warcraft movie though. I don’t know why but that was just so damn tedious.

Medic

Medic, also known as Phovos (or occasionally Dr Retvik Von Scribblesalot), writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF since she doesn't have anything better to do. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Phovos has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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