6 Reasons Why I won’t play Competitive ever again

I was talking to my Overwatch-Competitive-playing sister who goes by the edgy name Skully. She’s totally not a Reaper main, can’t aim those guns for shit. She mostly plays… well, anything BUT Reaper. Mercy, Junkrat, D.Va mostly. That’s beside the point. We were talking about how competitive game modes just… aren’t that fun if you take them seriously. Which spurred me to write this article. It’s Too Serious Team Fortress 2 is a stupidly goofy game. On the flip side, competitive 6v6 is serious. Super serious business. It’s pretty hard to take the game seriously when you’ve got a Heavy… [Continue Reading]

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The Pros and Cons of Class Limits

We’ve all seen it before, the four Snipers on a team of twelve, taking up a third of the team, all being useless. People, especially newbies, drift towards Sniper because he is just like the characters you see in other shooters. Cool, collected, headshooters with powerful rifles. It’s familiarity in a world where giant Russians shoot down gas-masked lunatics for killing their friendly German doctors. But anyone with TF2 experience knows how useless Snipers are the more of them you have. They see these stupid team compositions and scream things like “F2PERS MUST BE SEPARATED FROM PREMIUM PLAYERS!” and “WE… [Continue Reading]

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Things about Team Fortress 2 I refuse to believe

While making ice cream that I pretend has way less calories than it actually does, I realized there a quite a few things about Team Fortress 2 that I refuse to believe. So here’s my list. Random crits Guys, if you solely clicked on this article hoping to find me complain about random crits, you’re welcome. I made this one easy for you. Now go on with your “MAGGOT”-life. I’m not sure why TF2 has random crits in the first place. Their controversial nature is controversial in itself. You find yourself liking them each time you get a random crit… [Continue Reading]

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Why TF2/CSGO comp pisses me off

So, recently TF2 got its competitive mode update. That’s all fine – even though I don’t believe competitive in TF2 can work for balance reasons. What really pisses me off though are the eligibility requirements. For that I have to go back to where competitive started. Back in CSGO, initially everyone was eligible for comp, besides the lobby limits on rank disparity. However, issues arose. Issues mainly being smurfs. So Valve had the brilliant idea to use the profile ranks to make it harder for smurfs to be eligible for comp. The idea was okay, because you can only get… [Continue Reading]

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ESL Cologne 2016 CSGO Grand Finals Today!

In 14 hours, the last teams standing are going to butt heads in the ESL Cologne 2016 grand finals! If you have any motivation to watch top-level CSGO play, this is the time to jump in and watch. Of the 16 teams that originally came to fight for the 1 million dollar grand prize, it’s Team Liquid and SK Gaming who have survived the brackets and move into the illustrious Round 30. Team Liquid has had an amazing run this tournament. Despite getting off to a rocky start (though not without a resounding victory over EnVyUs), including losing pretty handily… [Continue Reading]

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Meet your Match update – Called it.

I fucking called it. See, I said it in this article. Unless the ‘Neato’ update comes in the middle of next week (which, knowing my luck, it will), all of next week’s articles will be a bit different in some way. Anyway, yes, competitive has been released, unranked gameplay is no longer the casual slogfest it used to be and copies Overwatch and every other matchmaking system, at least on Valve servers, Pass Time is out of beta and OMG WHAT THE FUCK THEY FINALLY MADE SUNSHINE OFFICIAL OMG FUCKING FINALLY. There’s also Metalworks and Swiftwater, two major competitive maps… [Continue Reading]

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If TF2 Competitive wants to ever get off the ground, it needs to stop being so pretentious

That’s a long title, I know, but this is a problem I’ve had for ages with competitive TF2. In all competitive games, you are going to get some snobbery based off ranks and the like, but here, in our tiny little competitive community, we can be incredibly snobbish and pretentious. I want to start off with a personal story. I played in 4v4 EU Silver. Most of my matches were against platinum or gold 6v6 or Highlander teams, playing casually for fun. My team on the other hand had only played a season of 4v4, and were at the same… [Continue Reading]

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Why is Competitive Matchmaking coming out of beta?

After 11 mediocre stress tests, TF2 Competitive Matchmaking is coming out of beta. And tons of little things that we’ve complained about don’t seem to have been addressed. The game doesn’t run much better on DX9, so those needing DX8 (some of whom may be on plenty strong enough computers that just don’t play nice with TF2) are locked out of competitive. Other graphical settings, mostly ones only accessible via console commands, are also turned off. Matchmaking seems to have trouble matchmaking people of varied ranks. The issue of class limits and class composition is still… an issue. Those ‘small’… [Continue Reading]

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Butting Heads in the Apocalypse

I’ve always loved watching competitive eSports, but I never really have much to say on the subject. There’s nothing more electrifying than watching the absolute top players of a community murdering each other with insane reflexes, top-tier strats and telepathic teamwork, all with a pair of announcers following you along for the ride. But for the first time, I’ve found a competitive mode that really bears serious analysis just because of how creative the community had to get to even translate the base game into something eSport-worthy. I’m talking about Valve’s greatest asymmetrical shooter, Left 4 Dead 2. (A short crash course for… [Continue Reading]

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TF2 Competitive has a lot to steal…

Let’s face it, competitive Team Fortress 2 isn’t nearly as popular as anyone had hoped. Apart from b4nny, who is essentially the god of TF2 and can turn almost any invite team into a winner, most people don’t get many views. All the big leagues, ESEA, ETF2L, UGC, AsiaFortress and so on, get a few thousand views for their big grand finals, which doesn’t sound too bad, except when I tell you that a person being banned from League of Legends and sulking got just as many views, if not more. Despite the competitive community’s enthusiasm, the general populace and… [Continue Reading]

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