Escaping the Stalker

Volt hated Spy missions. He hated them with a passion. Not because Volt couldn’t hack, in fact, Volt had mastered hacking pretty quickly. He didn’t mind the sneaking either, he actively enjoyed being sneaky at times. No, Volt hated Spy missions because of all those stupid energy fields and sensors and cameras and stuff that the Grineer and Corpus always chucked around their stupid vaults. Why couldn’t they just be in rooms with locked doors that needed to be hacked, rather than stupid jumping puzzles that required Volt to stop running, slow down and start doing stupid backflips and stuff… [Continue Reading]

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Power Pissing Contest

“Hey kid!” Frost grinned as he slapped the young Volt on the back. “Yellow, black and grey? Unusual colour combination. Did Ordis tell you his sensors were bleeding when you equipped that?” The Volt, who was holding a mod he’d just picked up, trying to work out whether it was useful, blinked. Or, at least, his inexperienced operator did. “W-we can talk to each other?” “Um, yes, of course we can talk!” the overly friendly, trench coat-wearing Warframe continued to grin. Unlike Volt, he was wearing his best primed syandana, a word Volt could barely pronounce, and a fancy helmet… [Continue Reading]

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Titania’s Peril

Yes, this is a story. Yes, I wrote a bit of Warframe fan-fiction. Yes, I am aware of the events on Lua, and of the existence of super powerful teenagers. Yes, I also choose to ignore that because, while it’s cool, it sounds far less fun in a game-play sense. Although it does explain why a person’s Warframes don’t seem to die, they just… respawn back on their ship. Anyway, let’s get on with this. Titania’s Peril Burning smoke would have filled their lungs, if they had any to speak of. Eruptions of electronics, broken equipment and exploding gases blew… [Continue Reading]

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What’s so damn special about Overwatch’s matchmaking?

I see this all the time. “TF2’s matchmaking sucks! I’m going to play Overwatch because it has better matchmaking!” Anyone who says this isn’t thinking straight. There are legitimate reasons why you might want to play Overwatch, or even play it over Team Fortress 2, but if you’re going because TF2’s casual and competitive matchmaking sucks, then you’re not thinking things through. Here’s a conversation I had with my sister, who is an avid Overwatch fan. “I hate this map.” “Why?” “Too many choke points.” “Can’t you choose what map you want to play?” “Uh, no.” In Overwatch, you can’t… [Continue Reading]

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Tea with Death

Tea with Death is a series of stories set in the Phoviverse, following the hugely conflicted god-like being Tenuk as he meets up with the one being who can truly kill him, Death herself. Each episode is set at its own semi-random point in time. This story chronicles the first meeting between these strange beings. The rest of the series can be found in the Tea with Death section of the Phoviverse wiki. This was supposedly the afterlife. Heaven. The shores of Kinigi, to go by its proper name. It didn’t look like anything Tenuk expected. No fluffy clouds or… [Continue Reading]

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Screw Markarth

You know what? I could talk about Overwatch and it’s private beta (which seemed more like a press release than a beta…) but I’m honestly not fussed. I’m annoyed about other things. Particularly a place in Skyrim. Markarth. Screw Markarth. It’s the worst city in Skyrim. I absolutely hate it there, so much in fact that I actually didn’t visit the city at all while doing Medic in Skyrim, and I’m probably going to avoid the city completely in Dawnguard Snipin’. I really just dislike the city, to the point that I’m more likely to visit Falkreath for fun, and… [Continue Reading]

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