You’re the new one, right? Alright, I’ll fill you in on what’s going on, but time is money and money is good, so don’t waste too much of it on questions. I’m Argeon, pretty big guy up in Sydney, but I’m not gonna tough-guy on you – we got business to do. Our writer, Atticus, is having a writer’s block, but we need to release new fiction here for our Australian readers. We managed to get you and the dozens of other applicants typewriters for the occasion. I don’t want to scare you off, but it is in every sense a contest here in the office. We managed to scrounge you up some nice commissions or prizes if you will, if your contributions will be accepted. We have an unusual, keys and refined metal to fill your pockets, along with other newfangled goodies. What to write about? Well, sit down and allow me to go over what we need right now. Rentz and Lasby are picky, but I think you’ll find that there are plenty of choices. I’d give them an offer they can’t refuse and remove limitations, but I don’t want to see either of them die, so I ain’t risking it. Here’s what they want:
This is your typical sad or serious story. We are short on those, so if you can get something nice typed up, we’ll gladly take a look at it.
Cars go by, someone else goes on a quest; you know the drill. We are dry on those submissions, so that’s an option to consider.
Take a Charlie Chaplin gag, write a knee-slapper, anything to make the audience laugh. Tragicomedies also count as comedies, so don’t feel limited to generic slapstick comedy.
Let me make myself clear: haikus are not considered poetry here in Rentz & Lasby Co. However, any other type of poetry will fit here. We need lots of these too!
Y’know… Five-seven-five syllables. You can submit as many as you like so don’t feel stressed out about making your perfect haiku.
- Horrid Stories
I warn you mate, eyes will bleed. Seriously, these stories are more effective than my men. Purposefully badly written, you can only submit one and only one after you turned in any other type of writing. Thank god Rentz and Lasby made that decision. Now, as a mobster, I like to know the rules so I can get around them. Sadly, you won’t be able to, but there are certain, well, guidelines to your submissions. In order to keep from kangaroos typing nonsense and then submitting it, we have to keep all of you in order. Take a look:
- Any non-poetry and non-horrid story must be at least 500 words in length.
2. Poetry must be at least 250 words in length
3. Haikus and Horrid Stories have no word requirement
4. Horrid Stories are only limited to one per contestant and may only may be submitted if you have submitted any other work of writing. All other categories have unlimited submissions
5. It must be your original work written after the original Write Some Moar!
6. Sexual and overly-romantic content is not allowed
Believe me, the don of the Sydney Crime Syndicate, we have had kangaroos type stories. Don’t ask how, I myself haven’t found out how.
Lastly, I think I should clarify when we want to see these stories. I won’t go on about all the judges – I’ll just leave the files on your table if you want to later glance at them – but the dates are important. We need to have your submissions by January 14th 11:59 PM PST. We’ll have all our more or less prestigious judges take a look at them and we’ll report you the results back on January 18th. Pretty simple, mate. Anyways, I’ve spent too much time. I need to get back to my office. This folder contains everything you want to know about the contest. Now, get to writing. Write some moar!