A Valentines Day Article

I’ve never liked Valentines Day. In fact, despite me being in my thirties, I’ve only actually only properly celebrated it once with a partner. And, frankly, that whole relationship was a waste of my time, dedication and money. I wouldn’t call myself jilted or anything, but I’ve never had a good real-life relationship, and a day about love and partnership has always pissed me off. In previous articles discussing Valentines Day, I’ve also called it an annoyingly commercialized day, with a vast amount of pressure put on people to spend money on their loved ones. Often more on men than women.

“Go on, treat her!” the adverts say. “You’re a bad person if you forget!” they all whisper. It’s horrible. Manipulative. And all designed to make you spend money. Because that’s what Valentines Day is these days, a chance for companies to make you spend more. Money is what makes the world go round.

Actually, it’s the earth’s rotation and its hot iron core that make the world go round, but you get what I mean.

But yeah, I’m not exactly a good person when it comes to romance. In every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve put in way too much effort and gotten very little in return. And I am woefully inexperienced when it comes to dating and, well, love in general. I was 27 when I finally started finding people actually attractive. A late bloomer. Despite having to wear a bra at the age of 10, and my period starting on my 13th birthday. That really sucked, because the family had planned to take me swimming that day. Either way, I didn’t start trying to go on dates until I was 29 and didn’t really get any successful dates until I was nearly 30.

So, understandably, this day has never sat well with me.

It’s never sat well with the rest of my family either. Sure, my brother met up with his partner close to Valentines Day, but my parents married on Valentines Day and quickly regretted it. Anniversaries were always a pain in the ass because, well, literally everyone else was celebrating too. My parents did actually end up rectifying this when I was 10 years old, by having a small wedding in the middle of August to renew their vows. Their initial marriage was sudden and tiny, because my dad’s parents didn’t approve of my mum. While my grandma eventually did accept my mum, my grandad never truly did, and I ended up cutting him out entirely after he insulted her after she’d died.

Personal trauma aside, I still stand by the fact that this whole day is manipulative. Having a specific day in which you’re supposed to love your loved one more than normal makes no sense. It forces you to do things, rather than you sharing your love in a more natural way. After all, what is more romantic, everyone all doing romantic things on the 14th of February because society tells you to, or the more random and spontaneous romance that can be done any day of the week?

At the same time though, it’s also kinda cruel to single people and to kids. A cruel reminder that some people are alone. Personally, I’m fine with being alone, I like my own company. But I think most people have experienced that rather crushing feeling of being a kid in school and not getting a Valentines Day card or somewhat similar. And for single people who are trying to find love, a massive, commercialized push to couple you with someone for a single night to make money just makes things worse. There’s enough pressure as there is, we’re not young forever.

Frankly, if I had my way, I’d get rid of this stupid ‘holiday’. But I don’t. So all I can do is do my best to ignore it. And since I’ve given up on chocolate, I can’t even take advantage of the day-after chocolate sales either.

Oof.