I don’t need Sandvich

Cue an angry mob of Heavy and Medic mains raging at the title. Thank goodness there isn’t that many of them. Truth is, despite constantly hearing about how Sandvich is the be-all and end-all of Heavy secondaries, and seeing how many players swear by that thing, after using it myself for some time I decided to stop using it. And part of the reason is because of my playstyle. As I have mentioned here and here, I mostly play as a flanking Heavy. I sneak behind enemy lines and tear enemies into shreds where they least expect it. And most… [Continue Reading]

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The Custom Weapons Pack in Left 4 Dead 2

Link to Custom Weapons Pack For the longest time, the closest we had to custom weapons was a bunch of really awesome weapon skins in the Left 4 Dead 2 Workshop. None of them really changed the gameplay beyond looking sexy, even if I swear my aim got better whenever I used this revolver skin for the Deagle. But finally, Rectus had the brilliant idea to take the game’s support for custom melee weapons and modify those weapons beyond anything I thought possible. People had added custom melees into campaigns before Rectus (the most famous probably being the Foam Finger… [Continue Reading]

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Variants of the Assault Mission Type

When the War Within came out, it introduced a new planet and tile set called the Kuva Fortress. The Grineer stronghold, an asteroid powered through space by gigantic nuclear engines, is the home of the Twin Queens and the Grineer elite, with everything having a black and red colour scheme. Despite its name, there is no Kuva to be found on it or around it, and you have to go to any nearby planets to find the mystical black and red gas. Now, most of the missions on the Kuva Fortress are the same as normal. There’s an Exterminate mission,… [Continue Reading]

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Someone please explain to me what’s so bad about sex and nudity in video games.

So I was watching one of those shitty “top ten offensive things in video games videos”, you know, the ones that are obvious click bait. This one was by a channel that I vaguely like because one of the people there sounds like that guy from the IT Crowd and their older gaming videos aren’t that bad. And one of these things was a South Park anal probe scene. I really couldn’t work out why it was outrageous, because if anyone’s seen an actual episode of South Park, shit like that is the norm. Another entry in this shitty top… [Continue Reading]

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Painkiller

I mentioned Painkiller once some time ago, on my favourite weapons article. In that article, I talked about how much I like the guns in the game, and I might have told a little lie. See, I like almost all the weapons more than my other picks aside from the SBC Cannon. But then, I can’t just fill most of the list with weapons from the same game, can I? I do stand by my point that the Electrodriver is underwhelming, but the Rocket Launcher/Chaingun combo is pretty much a power fantasy controlled with two buttons. Painkiller, the titular weapon of… [Continue Reading]

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The Other Other Starter Character

When you first play Warframe, you play a tutorial quest in which you pick one of three starter characters. The default option is to pick Excalibur, the sword-using guy, who is a nice all-rounder character, sort of like your standard knight in an RPG. The next option is Volt, a lightning-chucking speedster who obviously works like some sort of mage character. And then there’s Mag. Mag is your third choice. Originally, the third choice was Loki. Loki looks and works like a thief or rogue. He fits well but was removed because he’s hard to use, needs to be maxed… [Continue Reading]

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8-bit Bayonetta

Some time ago, I went to look for Bayonetta on Steam, only to leave in disappointment when I realised it’s a bit too pricey for then-jobless me. But while typing the word “Bayonetta” into the search bar, this little thing popped up. Out of curiosity, I downloaded the game and took her for a spin. The game started with the standard Unity quality settings menu, as seen below: This is a rather curious detail, because this isn’t something you expect from a fairly distinguished studio. But then, I don’t expect them to release an 8-bit game either, so I just… [Continue Reading]

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Shadow Warrior free on Humble Bundle until July 23rd

Shadow Warrior: Special Edition is currently 100% absolutely free on Humble Bundle for the next day or so, and you can get it here. As well as the base game, you also get the official Shadow Warrior soundtrack, a digital art book and two unique weapons – a Serious Sam 3 sledgehammer and a Hotline Miami katana. It’s a first person shooter and hack-and-slash game with a somewhat loud-mouthed, over-excited protagonist, if the trailer is to be believed. The game appears to have that Serious Sam vibe, with a pinch of Saints Row style over the top gangstas evil corporations,… [Continue Reading]

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My Little Kavat

The first two Warframe pets I talked about were both dogs. One of them was built like a cross between a wolf and a tree. The other is a pink Charger, made by putting infected puss on a ‘dog’ egg, which now has been updated to have its unique form, rather than being a recoloured enemy. But now I have a Kavat, a kitty. An actual kitty, not a Warframe kitty who runs around slicing everyone to death while being immortal. Small problem though. My Kavat is ugly as fuck. Uglier, somehow, than my pink Charger. Unlike Kubrows and their… [Continue Reading]

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My Proposed Sniper Rebalances

Well, since Valve is talking about rebalances, I’m going to make a list of Sniper changes that I have in mind. By that, I mean a series of Sniper nerfs that’ll make the game better, mostly for me. So yes, if you’re expecting some nice, thought-out balance changes for the Sniper, get out. Why would you expect a guy that mainly talk about cosmetics to know anything about game balance anyway. 1. Inverse damage falloff for Sniper Rifles For ranges that are shorter than half the length of the 2Fort bridge, the Sniper Rifle will have inverse damage falloff. At… [Continue Reading]

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Focusing your Focus

After you complete the main part of the Second Dream, weird things happen. Basicallt, as to not reveal what really happens (after all, I have a whole article for that!) you get a new ability. Well, sort of. You actually get the choice to unlock one of five abilities, from one of five schools. These schools are called Focus schools (or Tenno schools), and your new ability, generally activated by tapping the 5 button, is your Focus ability. But before you use your Focus ability in a mission, you need to wait for it to charge up. Depending on how… [Continue Reading]

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Do you remember your first life?

Medic: My first life in Team Fortress 2 was insanely dull. After spending a tad too long working out how to use the server browser, I found myself in a PL_Goldrush server. It wasn’t anything special, just 23 other people fighting over a damn stationary cart. I decided to start off with Scout, as he was the first class going left to right. So logic dictated that I picked him first. BLU were most of the way through the map. I spawned and switched through all of my weapons, deciding to keep my scattergun out since it was the biggest… [Continue Reading]

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Quizically.Unrefined.Botched.Experience.

No beating around the bush this time, let’s just start by saying I’m VERY glad I got this on sale for £4 because I still felt dissatisfied with what I received. I wasn’t expecting anything mind-blowing, just a decent length single-player puzzle game to mess around with between other games. The premise is simple enough: You’re trapped in a big ol’ cube in space with gloves which essentially act like TV remotes with less functionality. Press one button to interact/extend and the other to shorten. Solve the puzzles, progress, win. So far, so good, considering I just wanted some brain… [Continue Reading]

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PowerPoint Presentation Loki

I like writing articles about individual Warframes. Each one has got their own character about them. Volt is a derpy thing with square knees that throws lightning, Frost is a chill dude in a coat and Trinity is boring as fuck. Loki in particular is a nice character, boasting invisibility and speed, but being about as strong as wet toilet paper. But sometimes there’s a bit of overlap between characters. There has to be eventually, there are only so many ideas out there. But I didn’t think that such a large overlap existed already. Let’s talk about Ash. Ash is… [Continue Reading]

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Net Neutrality

I never believed in absolute freedom for everyone. If a person has absolute freedom, that freedom will necessary conflict with the freedom of others. If I have the freedom to kill, you lose the freedom to live. If you have the freedom to steal, I lose my freedom to own possessions. If they have the freedom to dictate our lives, we lose our freedom to live as we please. We can either let everyone have limited amounts of freedom, or have a single person have absolute freedom, or a minority with large amounts of freedom. There is no scenario where… [Continue Reading]

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Syndicates Are Full of Idiots!

Unlike most MMOs and RPGs and all that, guilds in Warframe are filled with bossy NPCs who sit in their silly places in relays and absolutely hate each other. Rather than being groups based on how you play, like a Fighters’ Guild or a Mages’ Guild, or more akin to jobs like the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood, the Syndicates are all political groups who hate almost anyone. The only people they have time for are Tenno who pledge themselves and donate money to them. The way Syndicates work is kinda weird. At first, you have neutral standing with… [Continue Reading]

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A Thing About Net Neutrality

I assume that today, July 12th, you might have seen a thing talking about Net Neutrality and the FCC and things like that. A thing called Battle For the Net. A thing by DemandProgress and FightForTheFuture. Normally I wouldn’t really care about their stuff (and if you do decide to fill in the form, feel free to immediately unsubscribe from them) but someone out there is threatening my internet connection and the Daily SPUF, which is hosted on American servers, so I feel maybe this Net Neutrality stuff is worth talking about. Being a person on the internet, I assume… [Continue Reading]

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What? A Team Fortress Classic update?

It was surprising enough that Team Fortress 2 is forecasting activity this summer, but I don’t think anyone was expecting a new update for its predecessor, Team Fortress Classic! The last time we got an update for this game was the infamous March 29, 2013 update that pushed forward a few minor model upgrades and (much more importantly) reset everyone’s game folders, which wiped all customizations, mods, and configs. That’s right, a lot of people lost years of mods and settings if they hadn’t been bothering to back them up (and why would they? TFC never gets updates, does it?) I’m not sure… [Continue Reading]

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Eviction Notice

Remember the Valve’s Great Balance Proposal of Summer 2017? Well, after tearing my hair out about the proposed DDS buff (screw you, Sniper), I scrolled further and saw this: Oh bother, Valve’s going to ruin this for me. I knew there’ll be karmic backlash for the Quick-Fix and Scorch Shot buffs coming my way some day, even though the Scorch Shot buff is totally uncalled for and really doesn’t concern me that much. I might just be scaring myself, and nothing bad for me is going to happen towards the Eviction Notice. But anyways, I’m going to write this article… [Continue Reading]

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Holy fucking Shit – TennoCon 2017

So July 8th 2017 was the date of the second TennoCon, basically a Warframe convention hosted in London, Ontario, Canada, where Digital Extremes do tons of cool Warframe stuff. Like last year, they ended the convention with a live, streamed section where they talk to the audience, answer questions and reveal upcoming stuff. This stuff included things like the next Primed Warframe, which will be Hydroid Prime (which looks pretty neat); the next Warframe to be released, a currently unnamed ‘Glass’ Warframe with an exalted weapon and shapeshifting abilities; and a set of new Tennogen (i.e. Steam store) items, including… [Continue Reading]

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Four Things You Can’t Do With the Sticky Jumper

Migrating over from Medic primaries, I’m shamelessly stealing an old article format and focusing on another one of my favorite weapons in TF2, a much-maligned mobility tool that has been lumped in with the Rocket Jumper and Sun-on-a-Stick as useless tripe. I’ve long-defended the Sticky Jumper as a perfectly-viable unlock that created a whole new playstyle for aerial Demoman, but thanks to the many, many times Valve has redesigned this weapon, this time we’re going to talk about the things you can’t do with it. At least, not anymore. 1. You can’t plant decoy sticky traps. When the Sticky Jumper… [Continue Reading]

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So What the Fuck is Warframe’s Actual Story?

Yeah there’s a story in Warframe. It’s a thing. It’s a weird, confusing, messed up thing. Warframe’s lore is only something you can actually figure out if you sit down and listen to what all these floating heads are telling you while you slaughter dime-a-dozen enemies, or while you’re fiddling about with your mods and browsing the market and all that. No one’s really paying attention though, and with quests being not only scattered throughout the star chart, but also only a handful of them being replayable, the average person probably won’t get it right off the bat. And on… [Continue Reading]

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Mute Crimson-

It says something about the state this game left me in when I bought it in 2015 and finished it in 2017. The thing is, when I returned to it, I couldn’t remember why I’d originally stopped playing. Repressed memories are a funny (and slightly terrifying) thing. But before we get to that, let’s cover the basics. Mute Crimson+ is a hard as nails platformer bringing something akin of the original Ninja Gaiden to the modern-day with significantly less cheap BS. but maintaining the level of difficulty that had established its reputation. Seeing this and identifying it as a challenge, I… [Continue Reading]

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Fiery Companion

There comes a point in time where every gamer must make the choice …. Ah bloody hell, we all know where this sentence is going. Anyways, in my second FireRed playthrough, my starter’s Squirtle, although my starter was Charmander in my previous playthrough. That is because I know I can have a much better fire-type Pokémon later in the game – Arcanine. Since this was my second playthrough, I know where to find my beloved fire pup. After an agonizing lack of fluffy fire-breathing cuteness for longer than it should be, I found the one grass patch that I was seeking. And… [Continue Reading]

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