My Proposed Sniper Rebalances

Well, since Valve is talking about rebalances, I’m going to make a list of Sniper changes that I have in mind. By that, I mean a series of Sniper nerfs that’ll make the game better, mostly for me. So yes, if you’re expecting some nice, thought-out balance changes for the Sniper, get out. Why would you expect a guy that mainly talk about cosmetics to know anything about game balance anyway. 1. Inverse damage falloff for Sniper Rifles For ranges that are shorter than half the length of the 2Fort bridge, the Sniper Rifle will have inverse damage falloff. At… [Continue Reading]

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Eviction Notice

Remember the Valve’s Great Balance Proposal of Summer 2017? Well, after tearing my hair out about the proposed DDS buff (screw you, Sniper), I scrolled further and saw this: Oh bother, Valve’s going to ruin this for me. I knew there’ll be karmic backlash for the Quick-Fix and Scorch Shot buffs coming my way some day, even though the Scorch Shot buff is totally uncalled for and really doesn’t concern me that much. I might just be scaring myself, and nothing bad for me is going to happen towards the Eviction Notice. But anyways, I’m going to write this article… [Continue Reading]

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Four Things You Can’t Do With the Sticky Jumper

Migrating over from Medic primaries, I’m shamelessly stealing an old article format and focusing on another one of my favorite weapons in TF2, a much-maligned mobility tool that has been lumped in with the Rocket Jumper and Sun-on-a-Stick as useless tripe. I’ve long-defended the Sticky Jumper as a perfectly-viable unlock that created a whole new playstyle for aerial Demoman, but thanks to the many, many times Valve has redesigned this weapon, this time we’re going to talk about the things you can’t do with it. At least, not anymore. 1. You can’t plant decoy sticky traps. When the Sticky Jumper… [Continue Reading]

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Lord of the Flies

Once upon a time, long long ago, young aabicus made up his mind that he was ready to buy an unusual hat. He’d recently unboxed an Orbiting Lantern Officer’s Ushanka and sold it for $200 through Paypal, so he felt comfortable dropping some of that on a replacement unusual for a class he actually plays. Which hat was a no-brainer; my beloved Prussian Picklehaube was the first hat the game had ever dropped, and it sat proudly on my medic’s head ever since. But what particle effect? There were so many, and I had to weigh the pros and cons… [Continue Reading]

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Mechanical Facsimile

A Spy walked through the spawn door on a rainy night. The mercenaries ran up to him as soon as as they heard the spawn door open. They heard of Spy being chosen for receiving The Upgrade, and they wanted to see how the Spy is now different. The Spy is changed. That night, they heard not his mocking wit and snorting laugh. They smelled not the odour of cigarettes and alcohol that sometimes gave him away even when he’s completely invisible and silent. They saw not the slight swagger in his gait, or the rather unnecessary flourish he has when doing… [Continue Reading]

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The Free To Play Business Model

For some context, take a look at this video: Basically, when OB51 arrived in Paladins, a lot of complains had rose from Reddit and YouTube about the painfully large amounts of grind that everyone faced, with the only way out being sinking money to buy Founder’s Packs and boosters. And when I said “grind”, I don’t mean grinding for cosmetics. The grind is for loadout cards which players need to play the game well. The customizable loadout card system is one of the unique selling points of Paladins. And this marks the second time Paladin’s business model’s under fire, with… [Continue Reading]

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Speaking Up for the Speedster’s Spandex

I finally managed to have some spare cash to spend on things I like that isn’t my almost-daily Mr Bean indulgence. No, I’m not referring to the British gem of comedy portrayed by the wonderful Sir Rowan Atkinson, I’m referring to the rather popular dessert chain around here that has a branch near the train station. Anyways, I bought a few cosmetics from the new Rainy Day Cosmetic Case. One of the first things I noticed is this: Why in the world is the Speedster’s Spandex so cheap? Even the stupid pocket cosmetic (man I hate those things) costs more than… [Continue Reading]

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Balance Changes – TF2 Blog Post 20-06-2017

Oh my fucking Bahrag, there’s a Team Fortress 2 update and it’s a balance update rather than yet another fucking crate and key update. Oh my god what’s happening? Is this reality? Is this Valve putting the space left over from SPUF’s destruction to good use? Of course not. It’s a bunch of insane, crazy changes. But at least Valve are saying WHY these changes are being made. A lot of the changes seem to be nerfs, particularly the Scout items. Seriously, these changes are all fucking insane. Yes, the Dangershield is getting nerfed, but holy fuck now it has… [Continue Reading]

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Poor Ullapool Caber…

Poor, poor Caber. Once the proudest member of Demoman’s unlockable melee weapons, the only one that merged Demoknight and Demoman into a weird parody of both classes, the only weapon that brought the ‘Demo’ part of the class name to Medieval Mode…the mighty Ullapool Caber is a shadow of its former self. The old Caber will always hold a special place in my heart. It was undeniably, indisputably fun. There are few pleasures in life more satisfying than flying through the air with the Sticky Jumper, landing on top of an oblivious sniper and obliterating them with a single melee… [Continue Reading]

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Pocket Pauling

The Pocket Pauling is a cosmetic released in the Rainy Day Pack. It is a plush doll that looks like Ms. Pauling holding a clipboard, which sits on Scout’s backpack. The button eyes are rather similar to the ones on the Pocket Pyro except that they’re darker in colour. In the Pocket Pauling’s hands is a clipboard, which has a small piece of paper on it that is (supposedly) held in place by a thumbtack. On the paper is a drawing of Ms. Pauling’s face surrounded by heart shapes and a sentence saying:”Scout is the best of the Teufort nine and… [Continue Reading]

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