Welcome to Kolasi – Planning A Trip
This week, instead of normal articles and for an April Fools joke, I’ll be sharing a new Phoviverse story arc, a story set in my fictional universe, with a bunch of nonsensical and definitely not human characters. Join a team of adventurers as they visit a strange jungle world to track down a dangerous beast. Read the original story here.
The Great Dessaron Battle Arena was the main form of entertainment for the twelve intelligent races of this small, cozy universe, where people would watch, either in person or on live streams, gladiators fight against each other, with real blood and injuries, but also none of the death. Everything was set up to placate the masses, keep them happy and also occasionally solve actual political disputes between races, rather than turning to war. And thanks to a combination of medical and teleporter technology, no one remained harmed for very long, and gladiators were always immediately healed up after battles.
While there were a myriad of battles and formats available, from solo 1v1 battles, to beast-hunting events against vicious monsters, to challenges against the Arena’s in-house champions, to formats where normal people could take part, one of the more popular types of battle were Dessaron matches, where teams of four would compete against each other, each team representing a certain race. Most races had several teams each to cheer on, but due to the vast size and shape differences between species, a lot of people also just cheered for the top teams too.
However, recently, mixed-race teams were starting to appear. The first such team, known as Xeno Dessaron One, fought for the Great Arena itself, as house fighters, and had massively shaken up the meta, to the point that there was now a large increase of available teams. Xeno Dessaron One in particular currently had a 100% win streak, beating most of the top-ranking teams in surprising and astounding victories.
That all changed though, when disaster struck the arenas. During a prime time match, the gods themselves fell to earth, destroying part of the main arenas in the process. While the majority had fled in panic, the first mixed-race team had stayed and helped the gods in fighting off a terrifying monster that wanted to consume the entire universe. Weirdly, starting with the Great Dessaron Battle Arenas, where everyone was watching.
Everything had, thankfully, turned out alright in the end. The monster was destroyed, the arena got fixed up and the gods went back to their normal duties. But Xeno Dessaron One, despite now being known as heroes who had helped save the universe, were essentially out of a job. No one wanted to fight a team of gladiators that were insane enough to try and fight what everyone had been told was a rogue, corrupted deity from another universe.
Luckily, Phovoula Tromeros, the manager and technically the CEO of the whole arena system, better known to the general public as ‘the Raptor’, had a plan to get her favourite gladiator team fighting again.
“Alright, let me get this straight, you are going to send us on an all-expenses-paid vacation, except this vacation is on a planet completely covered in jungles and filled with massive monsters, and you want us to hunt and kill a specific one?”
Tenuk was a small creature, a being known as a Spast. Not even a meter and a half tall, he was a very furry critter with big, frilly ears, a fluffy mane and tail and fur cuffs around his wrists and ankles. He had four red eyes and two thumbs on each hand. Tenuk was also capable of shapeshifting, and his kind would have been fine gladiators if they weren’t all pacifists. In fact, Tenuk was the first Spast in modern history to fight in the Great Arenas. He was also incredibly young. Sure, Tenuk was 57 years old, but most Spasts lived to about a thousand years of age, and, mentally, Tenuk was technically just a teenager. He often acted like one as well.
“Yes, that is exactly what you four are going to do.”
“Sounds scary…” Tenuk glanced at his fellow team of gladiators.
“Sounds like fun to me!” Nyssi beamed. “Fighting giant monsters that aren’t too scared to fight us back! Spending the nights in a fancy hotel! Going out camping during the day! Sounds great!”
Temthans were the most common and varied species in the universe, and, at first glance, Nyssi looked like a pretty standard Temthan. Reptilian but with mammalian features. Nyssi in particular had light green skin with dark green scales and a toothy grin on her long snout. She also had thick tendrils that were somewhat like hair, and a long but thick tail that Nyssi occasionally leaned on. Due to their lack of fights, Nyssi wasn’t bothering to wear her gladiator armour and had mostly just been wearing a t-shirt and thin trousers, and today’s bright yellow vest top was only just containing her excitement and her breasts, much to Tenuk’s dismay. However, despite her rather common looks and bouncy, silly attitude, Nyssi was a talented beast hunter who knew her way around the many people-eating monsters that were brought in to fight in the arenas.
“What do you two armour-boys think?”
At first glance, one would have assumed that Retvik and Kayel were the same species. Both of them looked like armoured, scale-less, upright, lizard-like beings, with rubbery skin and thick, organic plating running across their skulls and covering their chests, groins, arms and legs, but they were in fact different (albeit similar) races. While Kayel was a young Skyavok and had black skin and yellow plating and stood at 1.7m tall, Retvik was a Rethavok, an absolute monster of a being, towering over everyone else present, covered in not just bright red natural armour, but the green armour he wore as a gladiator as well.
“I think it will be fun.”
“I think it’ll be terrifying.”
Kayel’s answer was far less certain than Retvik’s. Despite having a past in the K-Class, the Skyavok military, Kayel had left those duties to become a teacher, but a catastrophe had left him unable to find work, so his new job as a gladiator was a bit of a stop-gap more than anything else. Kayel was a skilled fighter, but he didn’t like the idea of leaving the relative safety of fighting in an arena, to go out and fight monsters.
“We have done this before, it is just a change of scenery…” Retvik grunted. Out of the team of four, Retvik was by far the most experienced, having been working as a gladiator for nearly three decades. In fact, before setting up Xeno Dessaron One, Retvik had an insanely strong solo career, with one of the longest win streaks around. Then again, Retvik was a 2.5m tall brute who feared little and wore armour on top of armour as regular casual wear and he made being a gladiator look easy. The fact that no one wanted to fight him had very much dampened his spirits as of late.
“Yeah, sure, Retvik, fighting a monster sounds fun, but we’ll be, like on an entirely different planet, without the fancy teleport systems that stop us from, you know, dying!” Kayel countered.
“Actually, that will all be set up for you!” Phovoula cheerfully explained. Very little could actually be seen of the Raptor. She was covered up in a black hoodie and equally black jeans, and was wearing leather armour on top of that. What could be spotted underneath her odd choice of clothing was mostly just black claws and green fur, and her tail was swishing from side to side. Phovoula was a Ksithan, a very strange, ancient one, and most beings, including all present in the room, had a healthy amount of fear and respect for her. “You will all be using a standard health meter system that will work identically to how your health meters work in standard battles. But you will also not have any handicaps, so, you can go all out for once. Especially you, Tenuk.”
“All the more reason we should do this!” Nyssi was bursting with excitement. “Imagine all the cool monsters you could shapeshift into!”
“Oh, so you are letting me fight without my stupid HP handicap?” Retvik also perked up significantly. “I have wanted that for ages. I do have a question though, what planet are we going to?”
The Raptor leaned back in her overly large, overly comfy office chair, tapping her fingers together. “I am sending you all to Kolasi.”
“And where is that?” Kayel asked. “I admit, my interplanetary system knowledge sucks, almost as much as my Battle Arena lore and trivia does.”
The look on Nyssi’s face dropped somewhat. “Uh, Kolasi is an abandon-world, utterly devoid of civilization outside of a handful of places… Named after the horrible place old Temthans used to believe that evil people went when they died. Sure, the Death God popped by and told everyone there was no afterlife a long time ago, but still, the place has a reputation…”
“It’s not that bad on Kolasi. Despite its name, the tourist areas are absolutely superb. I have a contact there who runs a sanctuary for Thracks and other exotic, winged predators, but something massive has been running amok and, well, killing things, as well as attacking a nearby Temthan settlement. Normally, my friend Atuo would just hire some Banikans or something to track the beast down, but, well, you four aren’t just gladiators any more, you’re heroes now. This is your chance to do something heroic.”
“Can I ask…” Tenuk hesitated. Despite Phovoula being the second shorted person in the room after Tenuk, he feared her the most. “Do we have much choice in any of this?”
“Not really, no. After all, I am your boss.”
“We have a union though.”
Phovoula laughed. It was a rather cruel laugh, the pitch of which bothered Nyssi somewhat. “Yeah, no, Retvik, my little friend, the House Fighter Union doesn’t cover you four. Not any more. After all, you four are… well, cursed. And that was before you idiots decided to try and fight a hungry, goddess-stabbing monster. Either way though, you’ll be well looked after. Five-star facilities and all that. Spa treatments, fancy restaurants, quasi-penthouse suites if you want. Consider it a holiday and a business trip rolled into one.”
Kayel and Tenuk both gave in.
“I mean, I could do with a fancy spa treatment…” Tenuk muttered. “And it might be fun.”
“I guess…” Kayel frowned. “When are we heading off then?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Wonderful!” Retvik grinned as he picked up Tenuk and Kayel, throwing them both over his shoulders and marched out of the room. “We had better get packing!”
Nyssi stifled a laugh, as did Phovoula.
“I think Retvik’s excited. He’s been desperate to fight, well, anything.”
Phovoula nodded in agreement, then slid a folder over to Nyssi. “Here’s all the information you four need. You’ve got my number and my assistant’s number. Call me if you need anything.”
Nyssi bowed slightly, then headed off, chasing after her team. “Thanks! We won’t let you down, pinky promise!”
“You haven’t let me down yet. Have fun.”
Nyssi’s voice echoed down the hallway as the door slammed shut behind her. “We will!”