Welcome to Kolasi – Twisted Palms
This week, instead of normal articles and for an April Fools joke, I’ll be sharing a new Phoviverse story arc, a story set in my fictional universe, with a bunch of nonsensical and definitely not human characters. Join a team of adventurers as they visit a strange jungle world to track down a dangerous beast. Read the original story here.
Kolasi, despite its name referring to a place of fire and brimstone, was only really slightly better than a non-existent afterlife. It was an abandon-world, meaning that most of the jungle-laced planet was free from civilization, and the megafauna was allowed to run wild. That being said, there was a large tourist industry focused on seeing massive creatures, as well as various scientific research labs scattered around the main continent, hungrily observing (and occasionally trying to get grants to experiment on) the vast wildlife.
Being located in neutral territories and a tourist hotspot, the population varied wildly. The current low season was coming to an end, and, within a couple of weeks, the first wave of tourists proper would flood in to the main district of Hel, where most things happened on the planet. The tourist population mostly consisted of Temthans, Spasts and Torr, a race of reptilian manufacturers who had made themselves rich via the vast factories and processing plants they built and maintained, which produced a huge amount of resources for other races. Vrekans were also somewhat common, but these tall, slender, penguin-like beings with glowing spots across their bodies mostly stuck to the neighbouring Ashiri district, where they enjoyed the calmer lakes and beaches. The majority of the locals though were either Temthans or Banikans. And few people messed with Banikans.
That being said, the being that met Tenuk, Retvik, Nyssi and Kayel as they stepped out of their pre-arranged taxi in front of The Twisted Palms, a five star hotel on the very edge of Hel was not any of those beings.
“Good day! You must be Xeno Dessaron One! I’d recognize you lot anywhere! Pleasure to meet you!”
“Uh, hi?” Nyssi couldn’t help but eye this being a bit, and Tenuk also seemed a bit off. The being stepped forward and shook everyone’s hands before introducing themselves.
“I’m Atuo, and I’ll be your guide, mission runner and all that! Come with me, please!”
Atuo was a Lanex, probably the most ill-fitting of the twelve races of the universe. Unlike pretty much every other race, Lanex were human-shaped. Flat feet, no tail, four fingers and a thumb on each hand, flat faces with small mouths and somewhat large eyes. They also had organic plating, similar to that of Retvik and Kayel, except thinner but more of it, covering more of their bodies. Lanex were also into body augmentation, they were known to cover their organic plating in metal to make it tougher, and almost all Lanex wore a mask that covered most of their faces, each one customized and adapted to fit whatever job they had.
It wasn’t the fact that Atuo was a Lanex that bothered Nyssi though. She’d just never seen a mostly brown Lanex before. Apart from some shoulder armour, chest armour and the heavy steel caps on their boots, Atuo was mostly just a mixture of dark brown and sand brown, and the hooded cloak he wore on top of that was also, well, brown.
Tenuk, Kayel and Nyssi all followed Atuo, while Retvik carried all the baggage and lumbered after them. Kayel and Nyssi had offered to help numerous times, but Retvik was a being of simple pleasures and liked showing off his strength occasionally. And, admittedly, most of the baggage did belong to Retvik, since his casual gear consisted of armour, while everyone else wore standard clothes. Unfortunately, due to rules on transporting weapons via space ports, their gladiator gear and weaponry wouldn’t arrive until the next day.
The lobby of the hotel was rather quiet, and as Atuo sat the four of them down at a nearby table, they noticed that the staff were mostly just Temthans. Atuo sped off briefly but quickly returned with five drinks, four tall, iced lemonades and a glass of water for himself.
“So, my old gal Phovos said you four are here to help kill the big old meanie that is killing stuff in my sanctuary, yes?” Atuo was straight to the point. “Shouldn’t be too hard. Normally I’d hire a team of Banikans and get it all over with, but, well, beast fights are popular and we all save a few bob on import fees by bringing you lot here. Do you have much experience in beast hunting and tracking?”
Nyssi grinned. “I used to be a beast hunter. Used to supply the GDBA with Thraggers on the regular.”
“What about flying beasts?”
“Again, not a problem. Do you have any idea what’s attacking your sanctuary?”
Atuo sipped his drink. “Thought it was some sort of oversized Thrack, but from what I’ve spotted and what my team have caught glimpses of, there appear to be three separate creatures, and I think one of them is some sort of Soarer, a mutant Thraki.”
Retvik blinked as he leaned forward, then quickly leaned back again as the chair he was sitting on made a funny noise. “A Thraki? What are Thraki doing here? They rarely leave their own safe areas.”
“Soarers are weird creatures, as ill-shaped as us Explorers are. Except more so, since they’re, well, basically vastly intelligent wyverns. But out here in the wilderness, an exiled Soarer, especially a mutant one, might feel at home. Still, it’s the other two creatures I am more worried about, because you can reason with a Soarer, you even talk to what I think is some sort of Banikanic Saurid.”
“Is that bad?” Kayel whispered.
“If it’s a giant one, yeah…” Nyssi whispered back. “Anything Banikanic is generally terrifying and always hungry. But they can be… dealt with, if you feed them first. Right, Atuo?”
Atuo nodded. “Yep. Really, you lot will be doing two things, tracking the beasts down to wherever they nest, then beating them up to the point that we can sedate them and take them away. Our mutual friend, the Ancient Warlord, said you four are essentially blessed, so I think little harm will come to you.”
“I have a question though!” Tenuk quickly asked. “What is a Lanex doing out here, and why are you brown?”
“What is wrong with brown?” Kayel interrupted. “You’re two-toned blue, Nyssi has green scales, Retvik has red armour plating with natural gold trims and I’m well aware of the fact that, despite being a race affiliated with shadows and darkness, my plating is bright yellow. Brown is fine!”
“It’s also good for camouflage,” Atuo explained. “There is a reason us Lanex call ourselves Explorers, it’s us who get hired to go into uncharted territories often filled with terrifying unknowns, we lay the groundwork for other races to then set up their bases and towns and stuff like that. Kolasi is a big place, a lot of it is still uncharted. Even though I’ve settled down with my beast sanctuaries since I’m getting old, there’s still plenty to be discovered…” Atuo clicked a couple of times, then went back to the original discussion. “So yes, you’ve done beast battles in the Battle Arenas, I’ve also seen you do bloodless matches and animal captures in your early days as a team. You can do this, right?”
“Yeah, seems pretty doable to me, I guess?” Tenuk shrugged. “I’ll be honest though, I’m mostly here because I was promised high quality holiday stuff. Right, Kayel?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“That’s why you came on this trip too. Phovos had to bribe us a bit.”
“I mean, yeah, but you don’t need to be so blatantly obvious about it.”
The Lanex laughed, his voice was slightly crackly. “Hah, that’s all very fair. Luckily, my buddy Ikew owns this hotel, runs supplies to most of the remote research bases as well, he’s guaranteed that you four can have whatever you want while you’re staying here. Ikew’s a big fan of the GDBA, the only major request he has is that you guys sign an autograph or something with him.”
“We can do that too, no problem!” Nyssi was permanently cheerful. After all, this was a bit of a dream come true for her. Not just an opportunity to hunt some of the biggest game ever, but also a chance to stay at a fancy hotel, use all the fancy resources AND meet some fans from her new gladiator career. “Where is he?”
“Well, he’s probably busy running the place. Often is, Ikew is a busy fellow, as am I. Do you four need help checking in?”
“Nah, we’ll be fine.”
“Good…” Atuo finished off his drink, then got up, handing each of Xeno Dessaron One a small, plastic card. “I’ll leave you all to it, I have to get back to the sanctuary. You can use these comm-cards to get in touch if you need me. You’ll have tomorrow to yourselves, and the job starts properly the following day, once your gladiator gear arrives and we’ve got everything set up. Have a good one!”
Everyone waited until the Lanex left. Nyssi glugged her drink, happier than ever. Kayel drank his drink normally, but Retvik was having a spot of bother, since the glass was way too small for his giant claws.
“So, uh, Nyssi, how tough is this going to be, do you think?” Tenuk eventually asked as he downed his lemonade and stood up from the table.
“Sounds kinda easy to me. Even if it’s a Banikanic Saurid. Sure, they’re scary, but they can also be pretty docile after a good meal.”
“Huh… Alright then!” Tenuk perked up a little. “Retvik, you mind helping me check in, then we can dump our stuff in our rooms and we can have an explore?”
Retvik grunted, giving up on his drink. He then picked up all their baggage and followed Tenuk to the reception. Kayel and Nyssi decided to follow along as well. The receptionist was an overly friendly dark green Temthan, but she seemed a little uneasy in Retvik’s presence. She handed everyone a key card for their rooms, which were all situated on the penultimate floor.
“Enjoy your stay!”
“We will!” Tenuk waved.
The four of them headed to the nearby elevator. Thankfully, it was nice and large, and speedy too, zipping them up to the right floor. To their surprise, there were only eight rooms on this floor, and their rooms were all on the left. As they all entered, they realized that all four rooms were connected via a large double door in each wall, and they shared a single long, thin balcony, which had a swimming pool built into it. Retvik handed everyone their luggage, and Nyssi immediately took off all her clothes apart from her underwear and jumped into the pool.
“Do you not have a swimming costume?” Tenuk tutted as he relaxed on the massive bed. Well, it was massive to Tenuk. For Kayel and Nyssi, it was large, and to Retvik, the bed was just about big enough for his feet to not hang over the edge. However, his question went unanswered as Kayel took off all his clothes, including his head wrap, and joined Nyssi in the pool. To be fair to Kayel, he was mostly armoured and just wore clothes over his armour, but he was still naked.
Nyssi giggled, kicking her legs and splashing playfully. “I dunno what your problem is! Swimming costumes are just wet underwear anyway!”
“If you say so,” Tenuk tutted some more, then stretched himself out, watching as Retvik carefully walked outside and cautiously sat on the pool’s edge. “Still think you should wear at least a bikini or something, we’ll be able to see everything when you climb out.”
“You’re a Spast, why do you care?”
“I just do.”
Retvik grunted, allowing himself to enjoy the water. “It does not matter either way. We should make the most out of all this while we can. We will have work to do soon.”