Scorching Sands Is A Shit Event

I am very pissed off. I have been trying to hatch a Larvesta for months and months. I still don’t have a Charcadet. BOTH of these Pokemon are currently in special 10km eggs for the Scorching Sands event, alongside the stupid, useless Turtonator. I’ve hatched 3 of these fucking 10km eggs and gotten Turtonator every fucking time. Meanwhile, in the event where Larvesta is the main Pokemon, it’s still the rarest thing in 2km and 5km eggs, even the special ones they released for Scorching Sands.

The 2km and 5km eggs suck as well. As much as I love Growlithe and Houndour (Houndour is my favourite Pokemon), I really don’t want them in eggs. They spawn in the wild. Growlithe has been spawning in the wild for months now. I’m pretty sure they’ve been made rarer for Scorching Sands, but why would I want to walk 1km (because half hatch distance) for something that spawns by my feet somewhat regularly?And why the ever loving fuck is Litleo in fucking 5km eggs? Sure, it’s technically 2.5km for this event, but it’s Litleo! It’s a worst version of Litten, hampered by the random Normal Type it has.

In the mean time, there’s research tasks. These also suck. The only one I’ve seen is Explore 3km. It gives you Slugma or Litleo. Two Pokemon that were uncommon spawns BEFORE Scorching Sands started, and have been removed from the pool DURING Scorching Sands. There are also three more research tasks, to hatch 1, 2 or 3 eggs. Hatching 1 egg gives you… Slugma or Litleo. And considering that it’s half egg hatching distance right now, that means that you can walk 1km, hatch a 2km egg (because half distance) and get the same reward three times in the space it takes to do the Explore 3km research task. Not that I’ve SEEN the hatching tasks. Every. Single. Pokestop. Has given me the Explore 3km task. I even managed to pick up TWO of them on the Cyndaquil Community Day that happened during Scorching Sands, and those are all supposed to be Catch 3 Cyndaquil tasks.

There’s also Timed Research. To hatch 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 eggs. The rewards? More Slugma and Litleo. Hatching 5 eggs for a Slugma fucking sucks. Sure, it gives you a Darumaka at the end, but eh, Darumaka isn’t that rare any more. 5 days doesn’t seem like long, but if you get

Oh, sure, there’s ‘increased shiny chances’, but that means fuck all if you don’t give us numbers. The base chance is (approximately) 1/450, so an increased shiny chance can mean anything from 1/10 (like research days), 1/25 (like Community Days), 1/64 or 1/128 (like some rare species of Pokemon and Onix) or… well, 1/400 is an increase, right? Who the fuck knows. And it’s only for these two Pokemon. And maybe Larvesta. But hatching Larvesta is so luck-based in the first place that there’s no way of knowing.

Scorching Sands is also an accurate name for the event, considering most of the Northern Hemisphere is suffering a heatwave. Of course, it’s never accurate for those in the Southern Hemisphere, where it’s currently Autumn or Winter, but I’m sure they’re used to all the USA-based summer advertising that doesn’t fit.

But on top of all that, there’s no wild event spawns. The event s ONLY egg-based. It’s just normal stuff, and the normal stuff kinda isn’t that interesting (mostly because it’s a lot of Kanto stuff). So there’s nothing interesting to catch while you walk in the heat hatching eggs. There COULD have been though! There are TONS of fire type Pokemon and sandy Pokemon we could have had. Slugma and Litleo could have spawned in the wild, alongside the two Growlithes (although we’ve seen a lot of them), Darumaka, Houndour, Litwick, or Sandshrew, maybe even something rare like Sandile, Gible or Rockruff. We could have had a new release as well, surely there’s some sandy Paldea Pokemon they could release?

But no. We gotta hatch eggs. Eggs or nothing. And most of the time, you get fuck all.

Medic

Medic, also known as Arkay, the resident god of death in a local pocket dimension, is the chief editor and main writer of the Daily SPUF, producing most of this site's articles and keeping the website daily.

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