When I look back at the Love and War update, all I see is an awesome video, fat Engineers, a conga taunt, a stupid ‘shield’ and a parachute. That’s pretty much it. Nothing else really sort of stuck in my mind. Yes, we’ve got the Rock Paper Scissors taunt and taunts in which we headbutt each other, and the ability to high five enemy players (which is awesome mind you) but the taunts we got don’t cover what we really want. So I’m going to be lame and list a bunch of ideas of taunts we should have.
Rather obvious, real gentlemen like the Spy don’t want to give you five or ten or four or however many fingers you have. Real men shake hands and greet and congratulate each other with a solemn expression on their face, with a nice hint of seriousness and professionalism.
The most important taunt of them all. Sitting Pyro. We have been hinted at this for years. There’s a Sitting Pyro taunt already included within the Pyro’s animations. It is SO DAMN CUTE OMG KAWAII LOL. I don’t really get all that kawaii stuff, but you know what I mean. It’s adorable. People want it. It’s already made. Do it. Do it now. Or the Uber Cute Pyro Armies will get you.
Iconic Scenes from the Meet the Team videos
Medics always get the best taunts. I’ve got the sexiest laugh, the best conga skills, the best Meet the Team taunt. Oh wait, only I have that. Then I remember how awful my High-Five taunt is and I weep silently as I fly in and out of character. That’s besides the point. Every class kinda has that moment in their own video and I’m sure we could turn that into a taunt. If only so we can have taunt in which Soldier shouts “UNLESS IT’S A FARM!” for some unknown reason.
A hug taunt
I know a hug taunt would be pretty lame, but just think how nice you’ll feel when someone offers to give you a hug. Having such a taunt means I can actually possibly kinda hug all the people who I normally just say *hugs* to because they’re halfway around the world and I can’t physically hug them. Also, imagine getting hugged by Pyro. Or Heavy. Just not Scout. Fuck Scout.
Sniper playing the Saxophone
Didn’t know he could play anything, let alone a saxophone. It looked so damn good in Expiration Date that I was genuinely surprised to find they didn’t add it to the game. Plus, we need more instruments so I can make a TF2 band. Medic and Engineer are already sorted.
Demoman playing the piano
Pretty much for the same reason as the Sniper playing the saxophone. Plus, it just looks cool and makes Demoman seem less of a drunkard and slightly more sophisticated.
More dancing taunts
Spy knows how to dance like a beast. Scout not so much. Sniper would probably be a great dancer. Heavy would be clunky and awkward. I’d love to have a good dance in which my lab coat flows around me all pretty-like but I’d probably just end up with something crap. That High-Five Medic taunt still haunts my mind. We should have some nice partner taunts, apart from our little dosido or dosidon’t.
A taunt for the Heavy
For reasons unknown, Heavy didn’t get a taunt of his own during the Love and War update. He’s been missing out a lot lately.
Speaking of missing out, we could do with more unusual effects. Most of the unusual hat effects could be reused. I’m surprised that there’s no stormy rain cloud or a snowstorm effect or anything like that. We could totally do with a stupid explosion one as well.
So, what other taunts do you want to see? Let me know with a couple of comments or something!