This time last year, we got a TF2 Workshop contest, in which people scrambled to make short shorts for Heavy and other related cosmetics in a Lara Croft item competition. In previous years, we’ve also had things like the Polycount contest and the Hat-Describing contest. But this year is the big one. The TF2 team were pleased to announce that they’d got the rights to make cosmetic items for BATMAN. Or, more precisely, the new Batman Arkham Night game that can’t make up its mind whether it’s coming and going.
The prize for getting your item picked is that it’ll be handed out to every single person who buys the game, as well as the game itself and a giant pile of other games, including the other Batman games, the LEGO Harry Potter games, the FEAR series, Mortak Kombat X and, wait for it, Scooby Doo! & Looney Tunes Cartoon Universe: Adventure. No one cares about the games though, everyone’s more interested in BATMAN COSMETICS! FRICKING BATMAN COSMETICS! So cool you have to say it twice. Some of the best entries will also be sold later on in the Mann Co. store.
But right off the bat (heh), we, uh, won’t be getting batarangs. Usable ones at least. The contest is restricted to cosmetic items only, we won’t be getting weapon reskins. Which is a crying shame because a batarang Flying Guillotine replacement would be the best thing ever. The reasoning behind this is that Batman doesn’t use weapons to kill, so our beloved mercenaries can’t use Batman-related weaponry to kill people. Batman don’t kill, end of. Although I dunno, I’m pretty sure Batman may have accidentally killed some people in the past.
Not all ‘weapons’ though kill people. What about the BASE Jumper? Or the Sandvich? Or the Grappling Hook… Hang on you can kill people with that, scratch that. But the first two surely are fair game? I hope so, because the former has an amazing item based off it. There’s also a sandvich reskin as well. And the Grappling Hook, which never used to be deadly until Engineer and Medic got hold of it. Something tells me though that none of those will get in. Pity.
Probably won’t get unusual effects either. There’s two in the workshop, one of them being a very impressive Bat light, but unusual effects are generally assigned to crates only.
But if Batman doesn’t want us killing people with his weapons, why is he not bothered with us killing people with his cosmetic items? Depending on what items get in, we could be running round killing people with Batman’s arm guards, his cape and his helm. We’ll be atrocities, stamping all over Batman’s good name. Really, it’ll be Gotham City Imposters, the sequel. So what’s the problem? Did Wayne Industries and Mann Co. get into an argument or something?
Oh well. There’s actually a few interesting items. Quite a few of them are items that replace Spy’s suit. My favourite ones are these more subtle additions, one for the Riddler and one for Two-Face, as the other ones are very… garish. There’s one for Hush and multiple other Riddler entries.
There’s a big quality gap between many of the current entries. But clearly the runaway winner so far is this all-class Batman helm. Lodded, paintable and facial-flexed, the quality is amazing and you can see it in the comments. There are multiple Batman hats, but the competition is stiff, even if this one ups the ante by giving Heavy a cloak.
My personal favourite though is this item for Pyro. I’m not actually sure WHO Firefly is, but the item is well-made. Seems a bit too close to Halloween styles, but it’s still a nice model and head replacement. Winner of the most unique item though goes to the Evil Laugh. It’s definitely something different, even if it seems a tad nonsensical.