My First and Last Ex Raid

Editor’s note (20/11/18) : This wasn’t my last Ex Raid but I was so pissed off at the time and the chances of getting into Ex Raids in general was pretty slim anyway, that I was pretty sure at the time that I wouldn’t see another one.

I was so damn excited on the 26th of September. I got an Ex Raid pass in Pokemon Go. A Raid Pass specifically for October 2nd, 1pm. My first one. Probably my only one, because I don’t normally do raids. I can’t do anything above a level 2 raid on my own and I either can’t get any interest or I’m simply busy with work or something to be able to do most level 3-5 raids with other people. But hey, I got an Ex Raid pass, that means I’m guaranteed to get other people to join and I’ll probably be able to get the new Pokemon, Deoxys!

Well no. I fucking didn’t get Deoxys. I got NOTHING aside from a handful of rare candies and 10 dead Pokemon. Everyone else in the group got him. 16 accounts total, 9 players, two sets of Ex Raids. Because Deoxys is weak enough to be done with only 6 or so accounts. All those players and I was the only fucking idiot who didn’t manage to catch him.

Even my sister managed to catch Deoxys, and she wasn’t even there. She worked nearby and brother borrowed her phone so she had a shot at him.

I looked like a fucking retard, failing to catch Deoxys with twelve balls. I had the most balls out of all of us, tied with my brother and sister, and I still didn’t catch him.

My first fucking throw was a curved excellent throw, using a golden razberry, but Deoxys instantly broke out. I flubbed two throws (one of them was because Deoxys jumped perfectly in time with my throw) but otherwise I got Great or Nice curve balls, each one with a golden razberry, each time with Deoxys breaking out. I got down to 5 balls and decided to let my brother, a.k.a the person who is basically made of 4 leaf clovers and rabbit feet, and he couldn’t get the fucker either. I watched as that last ball was thrown and yet again, Deoxys instantly broke out.

So yeah, I’m the fucking idiot who couldn’t catch what was otherwise an almost guaranteed legendary.

And don’t give me that shit about Deoxys being not very good, about Deoxys being a worse Mewtwo. THAT’S NOT THE POINT. The point is to fill your Pokedex and I failed at a chance for an easy Pokemon entry. I only have two Mewtwos anyway, so a third, slightly worse Mewtwo would have been a nice addition to my collection. Even if said Pokemon only had a CP of 1134. IT HAD LESS CP THAN A RYHORN I CAUGHT ON THE WAY TO THE RAID.

Pokemon GO - Ex Raid - Gengar and Deoxys
My lucky Gengar, about 2 seconds away from dying.

You know what? I fucking tried. Since I got that Ex Raid pass, I fucking practiced my curved throws. I went from fucking up most throws to hitting a Pokemon 90% of the time. Most of my curved throws were Nice ones and I’ve gotten more Excellent Throws since Friday than I have since I started playing. I captured a ton of Pokemon, mostly Gastlies, so I could power up my Gengar and other Pokemon I was told were good for the Raid. I looked out for a Tyranitar raid because I don’t have one and everyone else does. I even planned a bunch of parties, so the game wouldn’t give me random shit whenever my party got knocked out.

But nope, it was all a waste of my time and petrol.

And you know what makes all of this worse? I paid €2 for parking, because everywhere else was filled with retarded parents who can’t park, vying for the closest spots to the nearby schools, because heavens forbid their demon spawn have to walk more than 10m to the car. I was the idiot who was late to the meet-up. I was the one who had to walk fucking miles back to my car, empty-handed, while they all sipped their drinks and compared their newly caught Pokemon.

I give up. I’m sick of being the idiot in my local raid group who never manages to catch anything. I’m sick of trying so damn hard, only to be kicked in the bollocks and fail all the time.

Fuck it. I’m done.

And on one final note, fuck Gengar. Fucking useless piece of glass cannon trash.


Phovos writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF since she doesn't have anything better to do. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Phovos has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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