I Hate Facebook

I hate Facebook. There’s a multitude of reasons why everyone should hate Facebook, like the fact that they buy up everything they can, they sell off your anonymous data to advertisers, they’ve had multiple vaguely worrying security breaches or the fact that, for a while, Facebook staff had access to people’s actual Facebook passwords. Simply put, Facebook has a way of worming its way into every bloody aspect of your life.

Before I start, yes, I know there is some irony in writing an article about how Facebook sucks and having that automatically shared on Facebook. Frankly though, out of the social media platforms that the Daily SPUF automatically publishes links to, Facebook is by far the most intrusive.

Simply put, if I wanted to opt out of using Twitter or Tumblr, I could. Easily. I just don’t go there. I get rid of the apps on my phone and don’t visit the websites and that’s it.

I can’t do that with Facebook, because Facebook has twisted itself into my life and my work. The same way it has buried deep into everyone else’s work and lives as well.

When it comes to work and life, most people these days want to communicate via Facebook. Why should they make a phone call or send an email or a text when they can use Facebook to call you or send you a message late at night? Heck, why even have a proper work email address or even a website when you can just post your made-in-Paint adverts on Facebook for the world to see? Everyone is on Facebook and everyone wants to see your stuff! And you can contact potential customers at any time! You can also have customers contact YOU at any time, as a multitude of late-night messages have proven. Heck, you should have your phone, email AND Facebook open at all times just in case a client wants to talk to you! That whole pesky 9-5 working hours thing that previous generations had was such a pain!

I think that’s enough sarcasm for now.

As a business opportunity, Facebook looks amazing, but it is as wide as an ocean and as shallow as a puddle and constantly begging for more money. You pay to have X amount of people view your content and if you’re not careful, most of those will be people who get paid to like your content. Or people in locations where your services and products can’t reach them.

Not like the metrics are that definitive anyway. Turns out Facebook likes to misinterpret things, particularly video viewing figures. To the point of potentially misleading advertisers. I mean, frankly, ignoring all viewers who watched the first three seconds of a video is sketchy to begin with, but before you argue that Facebook did nothing wrong, they settled a suit against them due to these inflated metrics. My point is, how accurate are all other metrics? Can we trust them?

Well, most people certainly do. We (by “we” I mean people in general, not so much myself personally) happily give them all our info, addresses, phone numbers, dates of birth, personal information, our entire life stories. Heck, we upload pretty much every aspect of our lives to Facebook. It’s invasive. Everything you do is a chance to upload something to social media and get some likes.

But a lot of us can’t afford to turn down Facebook, because it’s a vast, shallow ocean of opportunities. From people turning themselves into brands to selling their services to making friends and socializing. Many people have no choice.

Heck, I don’t have a choice. I am part of a family business. We get clients from Facebook. We can’t say “No, sorry, we don’t use Facebook!” because that makes us look old and stubborn and stupid, no matter how many ethical reasons you throw at people. If you’re not on Facebook, you’re a has-been.

Sadly, I can’t escape Facebook after work either. Everyone expects me to be checking Facebook Messenger all the time for the messages they send and everyone wants me to like their stuff. No, I don’t want to press a button to like your inane mutterings and random bollocks.

The worst thing is that some people won’t ever really get to experience a “Facebook-free” life. Before people are even born, their mothers and fathers are posting about them on Facebook and it doesn’t ever stop. Younger people are essentially force-fed Facebook and some are fed from birth, as their very first breaths into this world are plastered all over their parents’ Facebook feeds.

“But Medic, you’re no fun, I’m just sharing with friends and family!” “It’s just a quick look! Why can’t you like my stuff?” “Oh, come on, It’s just Facebook.”

No. Don’t give me that shit. Facebook is a fucking parasite that cares fuck all about you. All you are doing is giving Facebook data to sell on and eyes to throw adverts at. Nothing more.

Medic

Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 45% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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