Kalos Event? What Kalos Event?

There is supposedly a Kalos event in Pokemon GO right now. A celebratory event where Pokemon from the Kalos region are spawning. However, there’s barely any trace of any Kalos Pokemon. Very few Kalos Pokemon have been added. So they basically might as well not exist. In the mean time, the game’s expecting us to catch all these new Pokemon for timed research.

Let me put it this way, I’ve seen two Froakie in the last 4 days, both of whom spawned late at night at far away Pokestops. And I need a Froakie to complete this dumb timed research.

Where are all the Kalos Pokemon?

This event was supposed to bring with it a slew of new Kalos Pokemon. Fletching, Bunnelby and Litleo are uncommon spawns. The three Kalos Starters are all also available but they’re Dratini-levels of rare, with Froakie being basically nonexistent. There’s also Noibat, but more on that little bastard in a minute.

But aside from the common normal types, everything else is standard spawns. Which are dominated by spawns based on the weather. In my partly cloudy weather, that means all I get is Jigglypuff. But even in sunny weather, the spawns just aren’t there. I’ve seen a handful of Fennekin and Fletchling. Bunnelby and Litleo are somewhat common but they’re not very exciting – after all, we already have a lot of cat/dog-based fire critters and Bunnelby…

I’ll be honest, Bunnelby isn’t that bad, but its evolution is terrifying. And bad. There are plenty of good ground types already and the Bunnelby line’s added normal typing does nothing for it in Pokemon GO.

 

A Noivern surrounded by Kanto starters. Because this event is more Kanto-based than Kalos based. Despite being a Kalos event.
A Noivern surrounded by Kanto starters. Because this event is more Kanto-based than Kalos based. Despite being a Kalos event.

NOT MY NOIBAT!

Funnily enough, Noivern is actually one of my favourite Pokemon. It’s a cool sonic-powered bat. Considering the fact that 1. I like dragons and 2. my second favourite of the Bohrok-Kal is Kohrak, Noivern actually fits quite well. So when I heard that Noivern and Noibat had been added to Pokemon GO, I was quite happy.

For a second.

Turns out, Noibat requires 400 candy to evolve. It is also Gible-levels of rare and needs 5km to earn 1 candy. It is OBSCENELY EXPENSIVE to get a Noivern! And I haven’t even seen one to begin walking it! Not even Melmetal is as hard to obtain, and that’s a MYTHICAL POKEMON! That also requires 400 candy to evolve.

WHY?

Noivern isn’t even that amazing. It’s a rather normal Pokemon with standard evolving requirements. They’ve made Noivern rare for the sake of making it rare.

No, seriously, the spawns are bad.

There’s nothing Kalos-y at all about this event. The limited research asks you to catch the new Kalos Pokemon but rewards no Kalos Pokemon. The spawns are 80% normal Pokemon, 15% Litleo or Bunnelby, 4% Fletchling alongside normal rare spawns (e.g. Lairon, Cacturne, evolved Pokemon) and 1% starters and Noibat. I have seen as many Charmanders as I have Fennekin. I’ve seen so many Eevee and Jigglypuff. If it wasn’t for the fact that Trubbish gave 750 stardust when caught, I’d have literally nothing to catch.

You know what makes this even more insulting? I’ve actually caught more Gible than I have Froakie or Noibat. I haven’t even SEEN a Noibat on the nearby radar.

This Kalos event is bad.

There’s no denying it. We get a handful of mediocre spawns, we get some starters that hardly spawn and a ton of Kanto Pokemon. Heck, even the limited research is more aimed at KANTO stuff over KALOS stuff! It rewards fucking mega candy for the Kanto starters! And even the handful of Kalos Pokemon we have aren’t… that amazing. Starters and 4 Pokemon lines. How comes we don’t have more Kalos Pokemon? Why do we have these little tiny flickers of new Pokemon?

It’s so annoying. We might as well just have yet another Kanto event.

Medic

Medic, also known as Phovos (or occasionally Dr Retvik Von Scribblesalot), writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF since she doesn't have anything better to do. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Phovos has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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