So Much For That – Definitely A Saints Row Game

I owe you all a little apology. I was going to make a whole playthrough of the game Agents of Mayhem. The plan was to play through and point out all the silly Saints Row references. And actually play something different for once. But I can’t. I’ve played about 2 hours worth of this game, and it’s just… not fun. I’m not enjoying myself.

But why?

The gunplay and movement feel off

The first thing I noticed was that both walking and sprinting felt pretty slow, and that shotguns only work at point blank range. Even though I was on the default difficulty, enemies took too long to die. Okay sure, I didn’t get very far, nor did I manage to buy any upgrades for guns, but I kinda felt like I was using a pea shooter, especially when I played as Fortune.

Meanwhile, if I am driving, I have to powerslide into pretty much every corner. There’s quite a bit of traffic as well, and a lot of smaller things you can crash into. But if I just steer, I’ll miss the corner and hit a wall or something.

Combined with the slow walking speed and awkward dash, the overall gameplay didn’t combine very well. Especially when the gameplay was also so… repetitive.

I do however appreciate the 15 levels of difficulty. Then again, the default difficulty (at least at the start) is level 2. I assume it increases over time as you play, but I like how we have so many options.

Too many pauses and transitions

I’ve only completed a slither of the game, but already I am sick of transition screens. They’re everywhere. Every mission I do, there’s multiple transitions that HAVE to play out while the game loads the next section. So you can have a transition screen, then a cut scene, then another transition screen, maybe a second cut scene depending on where you are, then that same transition screen again, before finally bringing you back to your character.

Even leaving the ARK had a long transition scene. Yeah, it’s cool the first time I watch my characters emote, say something witty then run down a long corridor, jump down a hole and be digitized. But that same animation plays every time I want to leave the ARK. But that’s not the end of it, you have to watch as your character floats down, before landing on your feet and finally being able to move.

I don’t feel like one of the good guys

I get what the devs are going for. They want that Saturday morning cartoon feel to the game. But they don’t stick to it all the time. On the one hand, we have cocky Hollywood, a pretty typical parody of an American super hero, doing things for fun. On the other hand, we have the entirety of Mumbai being completely ruined by a plague made by Legion, and we have a lone thief called Rama to fight for her people. Rama is also the first hero you unlock, so I have no idea if the backstories for the rest of the cast are wildly different too.

But with an environment similar to Saints Row 4, I feel like I cause too much mayhem. There should only be cars exploding if there’s a fight going on, but I’ve brushed up against cars and had them instantly implode. The NPCs feel particularly NPC-y and are only really there to run away. Unlike Saints Row though, we’re supposed to be heroes (or at least anti-heroes), being guided by a former master criminal, running a tight ship that fights against terrorist organizations.

Basically, I’m not the good guy, I’m just slightly better than Legion. Look, I know it’s just a game, but we are literally heroes, working in teams to save Seoul and the world. The world around me shouldn’t fall apart when I’m near.

I must say though, the 2D animations do perfectly nail that Saturday morning vibe. The 2D animations are my favourite part of Agents of Mayhem. It’s a shame that the rest of the game can’t match its quality.

Too much Saints Row

I don’t feel like I’m playing Agents of Mayhem, its own, separate game. It kinda feels like playing a DLC of some sort. The Saints Row stench is everywhere. I mean, just look at the logo for Mayhem. It’s the Saints Row logo but more edgy. You can even PLAY as Saints Row characters Gat and Kinzie. The same car-stealing mechanic is there. The driving is identical to Saints Row 4. Agents of Mayhem is also most likely built on the same engine Saints Row 4 was, and it shows. It’s like 50% new content, 50% recycled things from the Saints Row games.

So yeah, sorry, I don’t think I’ll continue this playthrough. All it’s done is make me want to play Saints Row: The Third again. And I’ve already done everything in Saints Row 3, so there’s even less of a reason to play it.

The worst part though? Agents of Mayhem may be bad, but the Saints Row reboot was even worse. As far as I’m concerned, unless the magical fix-all patch for Saints Row 2 comes out at some point, well, the Saints Row franchise is basically dead.