Not long ago, I created a thread on SPUF. Normally, my threads are a bit of fun, and this thread was no exception. All I did was tell everyone to leave their main loadout in the thread, and I’d make a giant conga picture out of it. This article sets out to reveal that giant picture (although since I used it as the featured image, that’s kinda moot, but here you see it in all its glory). But before I do that, I want to have a little talk. Being the editor of a blog means I can do that as much as I like. Today’s little talk is about characters, and how we all have one.
Team Fortress 2 is pretty unique. Each class is instantly recognisable, even if all you can see is their shadow or their silhouette. Spies are skinny with broad shoulders. Snipers are tall and lanky. Pyros are round and bubbly. Heavies are large and bulking. Medics have lab coats. You get what I mean. But Team Fortress 2 also has something else: the ability to add to each class. Hats and cosmetics, while existing in ludicrous numbers and distracting from the meat of the actual game, somehow in the process making Valve tons of money, allow you to customize your character as much as you desire.
What’s that? You want to make your Medic look like a REAL mad scientist? Sure. want to turn Heavy into Rambo? Go ahead. Want to paint your Scout lime green and your Soldier gold? Go on! The options are out there, in such vast numbers that it hurts. I remember making an article, one of my much earlier ones, saying we had over 800 hats in the game. We’ve probably gone past the 1000 mark now, seeing how many cosmetics are out there. Medic alone has about 20 different coats. I think. By the time I’ve finished this sentence, there’s probably another one that’s just been added to the Steam Workshop. You know what I do these days? I have a coat for every damn map type. Der Wintermantell for snowy maps. Doc Holiday for sunny ones. Quadwrangler for Nucleus.
Cosmetics do a bit more than that though. You start picking favourite loadouts. iGamr for example has his solid gold Soldier loadout, complete with Base Jumper and matching unusual hat. That’s iGamr. Anything else isn’t him. Or aabicus. Dear old Aaby appears in a lot of the pictures I do for the Daily SPUF, and he’s always wearing the same three items, his Flies Pickelhaube, the fancy coat and Archimedes. You come to know people from their main class and how their main class looks. I certainly see people like that.
So yeah, TF2’s cosmetics have done something more than allow us to play dress up or hat simulator or trade fortress. It’s allowed us to create our own characters, from simple, classy Spies to over the top Scouts to sexy Medics. Everyone’s unique in a world where everyone’s the same.
“But what about that picture, Medic?!”
Yes, yes, I was getting to that. It was fun putting it together. I did come across a few snags, like the parrot for Demoman always spazzing out and breaking, so I had to replace those with the undead versions which don’t break, but it’s 99% accurate. Thank you for everyone who posted in that thread, I’ll use it for future reference.