Distractions

Though I’ve seen plenty of articles on the Daily SPUF about TF2’s loadouts, balance, and players, as well as a ton of pieces on favorite maps and cosmetics, classes and weapons, I haven’t seen much about distractions. I’m not talking about in-game distractions, like the Sandvich Heavy that’s been crouch-walking everywhere for the last 10 minutes, or the 2nd Engineer that insists on placing his Sentry right next to yours. These distractions would make a good article of their own, but it would probably be of a darker tone. Decline and Fall of the TF2 Playerbase, anyone?

Now where was I? Distractions. Specifically, I’m talking about real-life distractions. Not important ones that prevent you from playing TF2 in the first place, like school, or a job, or housework, or outings with friends. I’m talking about the little things, things that make you lose that intense Sniper-Vs-Sniper battle, or get you mowed down by that Phlog pyro who you should have seen coming a mile away. Those things that, while trivial, are worse than any pressing obligation, if only for an instant.

This article is based on my own subjective experiences, so without further delay, let me list those little things that bother me to no end.

Suddenly realizing that the laundry in the washer needed to be dried half a day ago

So I’ve found a good Payload match, and am trying my hardest to keep my Sentry up while under assault by pocketed Heavies, Soldiers of the Direct Hit variety, and a whole host of Demomen so innumerable that “Legion” may be a fitting title. I’ve just survived a 2nd Uber with the help of my trusty pet Pyro, and am repairing my Dispenser when I realize that there’s laundry in the washer that’s probably started to sour an hour ago. Damn! I might not need to deal with it immediately, as the difference between “Right now!” and “Once the round’s over with” is pretty small so far as that loathsome laundry is concerned, but while I’m waiting for the round to end, that obligation will make me sourer than any waterlogged clothes.

A cat jumping onto my desk

I keep pet cats. Three, specifically. One prefers to keep to himself, but the other two like my company, and often jump onto my desk, either out of curiosity, want of attention, or desire for whatever snack I might happen to have with me. This can be problematic when playing games, especially games like TF2. Though a quick problem to resolve, feline-based interruptions tend to occur at the worst possible times, be it when I’m trying to avoid a Sniper, divebomb a Medic, or do anything that could be ruined with less than a second’s worth of distraction. Damn cats.

Discovery of how urgently I need to relieve myself

Perhaps my bladder has a faulty connection to my brain. Either that or it just chooses to send updates on a delayed schedule. Whatever the reason, in the realm of trivial “Oh shit” moments, few can dwarf the realization that I needed to go twenty minutes ago, all while I’m in the middle of an intense match of TF2.

I’m sure you have experienced distractions other than these, and some pet peeves of my own may have slipped my memory. Still, I hope that this article, if not comprehensive, at least provides some entertainment.