A Silly Little Kha’Zix Story

I wish I could play Kha’Zix. He’s the only assassin champion who genuinely feels like a proper assassin, designed to assassinate lone wolves and those who stray off the beaten path. Shame he’s so hard to use. Oh well, there’s always Vel’Koz and Cho’Gath. Anyway, here’s a lame story to pass the time.

The creature didn’t stand a chance against Kha’Zix’s newly evolved claws. He ripped the poor little critter to shreds, before quickly stuffing as much as he could into his mouth. If only he could evolve a bigger mouth, so he could eat things even faster. This was the one moment he was vulnerable.

Something was creeping around the river behind him. Something big. Kha’Zix knew the something had been watching him for a while, but they didn’t seem like a threat. Most smaller creatures knew to avoid Kha’Zix at all costs, and the larger creatures were beginning to learn that too. Kha’Zix preferred it that way, he liked a challenging hunt. Made the kill oh so much sweeter.

The something though was beginning to get closer. Kha’Zix’s senses were becoming more acute, and the sounds of splashing in the water indicated that this something was indeed quite large. Perhaps larger than Kha’Zix. Perhaps larger than his arch nemesis, the stupid kitty.

“Ah, little Voidling, what is your name?”

A large, suited fish creature with an enormous, gaping mouth stood behind Kha’Zix, straightening its hat. Kha’Zix knew better than to just give information away to strangers though, and asked a question of his own.

“Are you food?”

The creature smiled, teeth poking out everywhere. “No, Voidling. While I may have the power to satisfy your cravings, I would not make a satisfying meal. My name is Tahm Kench. I assume you do not know who I am.”

Kha’Zix shrugged and started gnawing on the remains of his previous hunt. “Do not really care. The hunt isss what isss important. Alwaysss hungry, always growing.”

Once again, Tahm Kench smiled. “You do not have a name?”

“Mozzzt call me predator. I call them prey. Only few call me Kha’Zzzix. You should leave before I call you prey too.” There was nothing else edible on his previous victim. Already the hunger was starting to rise. Tahm Kench though did not attempt to flee, in fact, he was getting closer. This worried Kha’Zix, maybe this creature was like the kitty?

But instead of threatening the Voidling, Tahm Kench offered an open hand. Kha’Zix had not seen that gesture before, he didn’t understand what it meant.

“Kha’Zix, I have a proposal for you. One I think you would quite enjoy. How would you react if I offered you the ability to take down anything, predator or prey, and never be hungry again?”

“Never be hungry again?” Kha’Zix rolled the words across his little tongue. The hunger had never gone away, it was always there, creeping in the shadows, gnawing at his very existence. It always got worse, never better. “Sssoundsss… Tempting?”

Tahm Kench’s eyes narrowed. He knew he was close, but he needed something to push this creature over the edge. Kha’Zix was still going over those words, wondering what to do. No being had ever offered him anything apart from food. But what about the hunt? What about evolving? Would it all be too easy?

“What would I have to do?” Kha’Zix asked.

“Nothing. For now.”

Kha’Zix pondered still. The hunger in his belly was already growing. Both the gnawing feeling in his gut and the slippery words of Tahm Kench had distracted them both. “Nothing? That ssseeemsss ssstrange… Isss it darker now?”

There was another something looming above them. Something larger than even Tahm Kench. Whatever it was, it grabbed Tahm Kench with a gigantic claw and flung him high into the air, above the treeline. The river demon shouted something about making someone pay, but Kha’Zix didn’t quite catch what he said, he was more worried about this other something.

The trees opened up above Kha’Zix, pushed aside by large scythe-like appendages. For a moment, he felt genuinely scared, just like how he felt when he fought the kitty.

“Voidreaver, I have a better proposal!” Cho’Gath bellowed. “Rather than taking false promises from silly little demons, how would you like to help us devour this world?”

Kha’Zix smiled, a sly, toothless grin. “That sssoundsss like a great idea…”


Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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