Video Game Stuff I’m Actually Good At
I suck at video games. The reason is quite obvious, I’ve just not sat down long enough to get the hang of them. The smooth mouse movement I use for work does not sync well with the erratic mouse and stutter movement I have in video games. That being said, I am very good at doing somethings… completely wrong.
Getting an enemy down to low health then someone else kills them
It’s a known fact that my aim is truly trash. But lately, I have noticed something else. My aim works in a special way: Miss the first couple of shots, then land a bodyshot or two, use half my clip/magazine to get an enemy to low health and… Now I need to reload, and someone else has gone and killed the enemy for me.
This happens all the damn time and it annoys me greatly. The only solution to this problem is to get better aim as well. Either way though, I am always at the bottom of the scoreboard. Because I simply can’t land those final blows.
Throwing a grenade directly between enemies’ feet
Honestly, it’s amazing how often I do this. While aiming to throw a grenade, I am so weirdly accurate that I miss completely. The grenade always seems to land just behind an enemy, doing hardly any damage at all.
Well, it’s that or just blowing myself up with my own grenade. But I don’t do that nearly as much as I throw my grenades anywhere but on the actual enemy.
Wasting my BIG AWESOME ABILITY
This is more of a Destiny 2 thing, but I’ve done a similar thing hundreds of times in Team Fortress 2. Imagine working really hard, not dying and filling up your energy bar or whatever. Then you activate the big awesome ability and… Well, I most likely fucked up.
The two most common ways I fuck up are quiet simple: I either activate my strongest ability by accident while trying to press another key. Or I wait just a little too long and waste it. How? Generally by throwing my super into something that is invulnerable. This is all due to overthinking the situation, spending too long trying to work out the best way to use a big ability. On the one hand, I worry that maybe a super would be better for later, but on the other, I feel like I’ll waste it no matter what.
Either way, I am very good at not using supers or anything like that.
Platforming but only in Warframe
And, honestly, it’s only because I have been playing Warframe for so goddamn long. Warframe’s movement system is probably one of my favourites, because of just how nimble you can be. Hardly no one runs around, it’s bullet jumps for days. Even the Space Kids have somewhat genuinely good movement.
Unfortunately, Warframe parkour doesn’t mesh at all well with, well, any other movement system. It’s pretty unique but nothing like the standard walking and sprinting stuff. Heck, when I briefly went back to TF2 with a friend, I TRIED TO SPRINT. I also forgot how to crouch-jump. It’s damn embarrassing how bad at parkour I am in other video games.
This also carries over into vehicles as well. What’s that? I need to use my K-Drive to jump over a gap? Gimme two seconds to overthink the situation. At least with K-Drives though, falling off is amusing. Crashing your Sparrow in Destiny 2 can leave you badly injured.
I try, I really do.
But I am just shit at video games. I can’t help it. All I can do is to keep on playing and hope that one day, I’ll be better…