Speaking Up for the Speedster’s Spandex

I finally managed to have some spare cash to spend on things I like that isn’t my almost-daily Mr Bean indulgence. No, I’m not referring to the British gem of comedy portrayed by the wonderful Sir Rowan Atkinson, I’m referring to the rather popular dessert chain around here that has a branch near the train station. Anyways, I bought a few cosmetics from the new Rainy Day Cosmetic Case. One of the first things I noticed is this:

Why in the world is the Speedster’s Spandex so cheap? Even the stupid pocket cosmetic (man I hate those things) costs more than it. FYI, I did intend to buy the Spandex and in fact already did. What I am complaining about is the relatively low demand for it as one might infer from its rather low price. It could be that the Spandex is a Mercenary Grade item, the UGC Iron of cosmetics, but this is completely ridiculous! This is a fantastic cosmetic! It should be worth more!

This is a nice cosmetic that turns the Scout’s clothes into a one-piece spandex suit quite like most stereotypical hero outfits. Paired with the Lightning Lid, it’s meant as a reference to the Flash, a DC superhero that dresses in a one-piece spandex suit and runs really fast. However, the Lightning Lid is ridiculously expensive, as you can see from the first image. And why in the world is that? The Speedster’s Spandex is a much better superhero-themed cosmetic!

But before I talk more about that, I need to point out how apt it is for Scout to receive a superhero-themed cosmetic. Who among the mercs will be the most likely to want to dress up as a superhero and go to Comicon? Scout’s the man. He is younger than most mercs, he’s jumpy, and it’s quite likely that he does this just to try and attract the attention of nerdy girls. I could picture Scout trying to impress Ms. Pauling with his (probably) homemade superhero costume, under the assumption that Ms. Pauling is a huge nerd. After all, glasses and nerds go together like Apple products and web designers.

The Speedster’s Spandex is absolutely superb as a superhero-themed outfit! Thing is, if you want to make a character that looks like a classic comic book hero, a one piece spandex suit is arguably more commonly used than a cape. I mean, both of those and wearing your underwear on the outside are common superhero costume tropes, but the last one just make the whole thing look too silly and a long flowing cape really messes with the Scout’s silhouette, especially since he’s so slim. Granted, Sniper’s rather slim too and he has the Starduster and the Scoped Spartan, but unlike those that ends at around Sniper’s hips, a superhero cape is normally longer, down to at least the knee, and is a flowing length of cloth that flutters about with the slightest breeze. The Scout does has a cape as part of the Bat Backup, but it’s tucked under his backpack and is barely noticeable.

And yes, if you don’t want to spend two meals worth of money on the Lightning Lid, you can still dress up as a superhero! Glasses, goggles, headgear, helmets, masks, they all work with the Spandex to make a superhero suit. The Bonk Boy works quite good with it, for example. Technology-themed cosmetics goes great with it too, like the Cadet Visor, as it creates a tech-themed gadgety superhero feel.

So yes, the Speedster’s Spandex is absolutely wonderful as a cosmetic. In my opinion, it’s worth at least ten times its price! It’s a really good cosmetic that brings out its theme and…

EXCUSE ME!

Did you not said you bought one at the start of the article? Are you know trying to increase demand for it so you can raise its price for you to profit off this?! You dirty degenerate …

 

 

 

 

 

He knew too much.