Dog of the Machine

Despite me loving cosmetics so very, very much, I’ve never been much of a fan about cosmetic sets. Part of the joy of cosmetics for me is coming out with my own sets that I like and uniquely represents me. However, there is one particular set that I personally love, and it just so happens to be a Halloween set. Tremble, humans, as the Canis Ex Machina roams among you all. Added during Scream Fortress 2014, the Canis Ex Machina is a reference to the series of infamous Soviet experiments, Эксперименты по оживлению организма (Experiments in the Revival of Organisms). The… [Continue Reading]

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The Plight of the Parrot

As a proud and longtime owner of Giddeon the parrot in Team Fortress 2, I was super excited to see Ana’s new pirate skin in the 2017 Halloween event. Much like I was able to port my beloved swarm of flies into Payday 2 with the Plague Doctor mask, I could now run with a feathery friend in another one of my favorite shooters! Luckily I have a policy of buying skins at the end of the event, in case it drops out of a lootbox, because that meant I saw this reddit thread before wasting 3000 coins. The parrot doesn’t even… [Continue Reading]

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Jungle Inferno, the new Team Fortress 2 Update, is here!

I know, I was supposed to do write-ups for each of the days of the Jungle Inferno update, but considering how Team Fortress 2 updates work, with reveals on the first days and the actual event being released on the last day, I didn’t think there would be much point. So day two was all the new campaign stuff, like the old Gun Mettle update but with a twist. Now, rather than ending up with a billion stock weapons with weird (and often ugly) textures on them, completing part of the new campaign grants you a War Paint, that can… [Continue Reading]

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Cold Killer

The Cold Killer is a thick white hood for the Sniper. It also gives Sniper a white cap, winter goggles and a white undershirt. Since Sniper is born and raised in Australia, sending him to cold places like Coldfront is about as comfortable for him as keeping a camel in a fridge. Thus, some nice, thick clothing is probable pretty welcomed by him. the goggles are a nice touch too, reducing the glare from snow so that he can actually see properly in snowy environments without blinding himself. The first official map featuring snow is Viaduct in August 13, 2009. The… [Continue Reading]

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The Crosslinker’s Coil and more than a bit of digressing

The Crosslinker’s Coil is a promotional item for the game Gunpoint, modeled after the hat of the main character, Richard Conway. Since the game is 8-bit, I really can’t tell if this hat is a faithful reproduction of Conway’s hat or not. The Crosslinker’s Coil is named after the main gadget of the game, the Crosslink. It is a brown, leather wide-brimmed fedora. There is a coil of yellow wires at where a ribbon usually is, secured in place by black electrical tape. On the left side of the hat is a battery and switch compartment with two team-coloured batteries.… [Continue Reading]

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On Gold Weapons

Humans love to customize things. We want to leave our mark on the items that mean the most to us, and as a warrior culture we especially love to own weapons that have unique, stylized decals. In the programmed world of video games, where one need not worry about firearm maintenance or practicality, the sky is the limit for how many ways we can customize our guns. So why do so many developers immediately go for golden guns? When available (and they seem to be available in almost every game with weapon skins), a golden reskin will almost always have… [Continue Reading]

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Vampiric Vesture

Scream Fortress 2014 brought to us, as usual, a bunch of Halloween-restricted cosmetics. Scout gets to be a zombie from another universe, Sniper’s a were-kangaroo, and Medic is now an angelic being with healing powers. Overall, I say that 2014’s haul of Halloween-themed cosmetics was plentiful and good. Among all of these cosmetics, there is one I would’ve gladly bought and use it daily if not for the fact that it’s Halloween-restricted. I present to you, the Vampiric Vesture. The Vampiric Vesture is part of the Dr. Acula set for the Medic, with the other cosmetic of the set being… [Continue Reading]

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Lord of the Flies

Once upon a time, long long ago, young aabicus made up his mind that he was ready to buy an unusual hat. I’d recently unboxed an Orbiting Lantern Officer’s Ushanka and sold it for $200 through Paypal, so I felt comfortable dropping some of that on a replacement unusual for a class I actually played. Which hat was a no-brainer; my beloved Prussian Picklehaube was the first hat the game had ever dropped, and it sat proudly on my medic’s head ever since. But what particle effect? There were so many, and I had to weigh the pros and cons… [Continue Reading]

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Mechanical Facsimile

A Spy walked through the spawn door on a rainy night. The mercenaries ran up to him as soon as as they heard the spawn door open. They heard of Spy being chosen for receiving The Upgrade, and they wanted to see how the Spy is now different. The Spy is changed. That night, they heard not his mocking wit and snorting laugh. They smelled not the odour of cigarettes and alcohol that sometimes gave him away even when he’s completely invisible and silent. They saw not the slight swagger in his gait, or the rather unnecessary flourish he has when doing… [Continue Reading]

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Speaking Up for the Speedster’s Spandex

I finally managed to have some spare cash to spend on things I like that isn’t my almost-daily Mr Bean indulgence. No, I’m not referring to the British gem of comedy portrayed by the wonderful Sir Rowan Atkinson, I’m referring to the rather popular dessert chain around here that has a branch near the train station. Anyways, I bought a few cosmetics from the new Rainy Day Cosmetic Case. One of the first things I noticed is this: Why in the world is the Speedster’s Spandex so cheap? Even the stupid pocket cosmetic (man I hate those things) costs more than… [Continue Reading]

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