On Writing Sexy Things
This article is technically not safe for work. But honestly I’m struggling to write actual articles as of late, so you’re getting the random rambles from the depths of my mind. If you’re uncomfortable with mentions of sex and nudity, then you can safely ignore this article. However, I won’t be getting into anything too graphic, nor will there be any sex scenes, this article is just about writing about vaguely sexy things and stepping out of one’s comfort zone.
N0w, normally, I’m not that interested in sexy things. In fact, it took me years to even be sexually attracted to people, and I’ve always considered myself a late bloomer. I also sometimes consider myself a guy, but that’s a different story. Either way, sometimes I try to do something different. I do a lot of writing and, lately, I’ve been hitting 1.5k words a day with ease. But there are times where I decide to try and leave my comfort zone and write something new. And, for me, leaving my writing comfort zone devolves into one of two things: I either try and start a diary (for either myself or a fantasy character) or I write something sexy.
Over the years, I haven’t written that much actual smut. Out of the 120+ posts I have on Archive Of Our Own, a website for fan fiction and things like that, only three of them contain sexual content warnings and only two of them actually contain anything sexual, the third is mostly just a couple talking about getting back together. Outside of AO3, on my personal website, I can’t actually tell you how many posts are properly mature (as in, it actually contains sexual content), but every single one of them is password protected, so that people can’t stumble upon them. Granted, the password is always the same (just the phrase WTF) but WordPress actually doesn’t seem to have a vanilla way of showing you a list of all password protected posts. Not via the default site search and not via the admin backend either. Off the top of my head though, I can think of six stories, stretching between 2016 and 2024. And even then, two of them don’t even actually contain sex scenes.
When it comes to the actual sex scenes though, they’re all… kinda weird. Because, I realized, none of them contain your standard human intercourse. Why? Because, the way I see it, human sex is boring. We make it interesting, sure, but there is so much porn on the internet already, written or otherwise, that I don’t see a reason to write any more of it. If I’m going to step out of my comfort zone, I might as well drag my readers along with me. You never know, you might enjoy it. More likely though, I think most readers will just think that 1. I’ve lost my mind and 2. I can’t write a decent sex scene. Because I can’t.
Thing is, writing a decent sex scene is actually kinda difficult, especially if you don’t really have a target audience and aren’t just writing to get your own socks off. You’ve got to balance both sides and try not to be too rapey or anything. That being said, while casually browsing Ao3, there’s… a lot of unsavory stuff there. I’ll be honest though, I always try to make my writing consensual and enjoyable. Well, outside of an unhappy phase I went through in 2017-2018. I apologize to my fictional characters, some of you deserved better than that.
Still, there is a bit of nuance when it comes to writing sex. You need to describe it well and somewhat precisely, so people know what’s going on. I admit I’ve made that mistake in the past. Due to inexperience, it’s hard to write exactly where everything is supposed to be going. And, at the same time, you also need to make it, you know, sexy. Assuming that is what you are trying to do. Because not every sex scene is there to be sexy, sometimes it’s hard and cruel and there to make a serious point.
I’m definitely not alone when it comes to writing smut though. Aabicus has written it, so have a LOT of people on Archive Of Our Own. Just browsing the latest section of Ao3, it’s mostly smut. I’m not kidding. Okay sure one of the latest posts (at the time of writing) was mine, but still.
At the end of the day though, I can’t judge, and, at the same time, I think it’s good to try and do something new. Even if that something new involves writing a sex scene featuring a 3m tall armoured reptilian fire god.