Thick

Sirens blared as the three Tenno charged through the Corpus base. They were looking for their target, a teleporting Corpus Tech who had knowledge on a super weapon the Corpus were looking to build for the Grineer. The Corpus Tech in question was teleporting between rooms, but so far the Tenno had kept up. Suddenly, a lockdown was initiated. While the first two Tenno managed to slide under the doors into the same room as the Tech, the third was locked out. “You alright back there, Excal?” Volt shouted as he drew his polearm. “I’ll be fine…” Excalibur shouted back.… [Continue Reading]

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On Making Your Warframes Look Like Sexy People In Armour

Let’s be honest. A lot of Warframes aren’t exactly pretty to look at. They’re vaguely humanoid but apart from that, it’s a mess of armour and lumps and bits and pieces. It’s incredibly difficult to make a Warframe look traditionally sexy. But it’s not impossible. The best way to make a Warframe into a sexy person is to use a handful of skins and a handful of colours. Unfortunately, the most human-like skins are generally Tennogen. The most famous sexy skin is the Stinger Tennogen skin for Nova, which makes her look like she’s wearing some sort of latex suit… [Continue Reading]

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Paladins, Fanservice, and Waifus

First up, the line “I’m afraid it’s gonna attract horny 13 year olds” is hilarious. Not only are there much better games for that out there on Steam, the fact that said 13 year olds clearly have access to the Internet means that they should have access to much better sources of satisfaction if that is what they are after. But yes, this is a somewhat valid topic about Paladins. The female characters in the game are rather, erm, well-equipped if you see what I mean. Not to mention, going by the way they dress you would’ve assumed that the game… [Continue Reading]

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A Silly Thing About Butts

One thing I never understood about Warframe was why some characters have such obvious boobs and butts. Obvious and amazing. But also kinda weird, considering you’re space ninjas mowing everyone down, and there’s never an opportunity to woo an unlucky Corpus general with your well-toned, sexy looks. Heck, every enemy in Warframe is an ugly as fuck clone, an ugly as fuck genetically bred slave or an ugly as fuck monstrosity made from the combination of the former. Who are current Warframes wooing with these good looks? I suppose back in the old days of Warframe, before all the weird… [Continue Reading]

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Burly Beast

Some time before Scream Fortress 2016, there was a Reddit thread about how some mercs got shafted really bad when it comes to cosmetic distribution. This was what I said: If you wonder what “this” refers to, it’s this. And guess what got added during Scream Fortress 2016? Exactly that. Now, I’m not saying Valve listens to me, but Valve added a cosmetic that was submitted and last updated a whole year ago when there are other submission made that year. By the way Valve, if you are still listening, I still want my jetpack. As one can see, this tears… [Continue Reading]

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Stupid Sexy Skyrim

You’ve all seen them. The sexy Skyrim mods. The skimpy armour sets, the big-breasted character presets, the mods that make everyone nude and attractive, the hundreds upon thousands of sexy female succubus followers that also wear skimpy armour, are super overpowered and are also big-breasted and naked when they (or you) remove their clothes. Well, most people only see the skimpy armour and sexy followers on the Steam Workshop, but anyone who knows how to really mod knows that all the best mods are on the Skyrim section of Nexus Mods. Look deeper, and there’s even more sexy stuff. Mods… [Continue Reading]

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Not Really Second Life

Second Life is an ancient thing. I remember seeing adverts for it when I first joined the internet on my own in 2007, advertising that you can live out your fantasies because it’s your second life, completely separate from your first (i.e. real) life. Turns out, it was created all the way back in 2003, and it still has one million active users. Where those active users are, I have no idea. I know that aabicus is not an active member, he only really went there for educational reasons, and will one day write an epic article about his adventures.… [Continue Reading]

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