Stop saying I’m a bad Soldier!

Seriously.

Stop saying that.

I AM a good Soldier!

Please.

Seriously.

As you can tell, this is a play on the other article I wrote. The difference being that I don’t play Soldier outside of the occasional MGE game or *shudder* ultiduo match. I’ll go over my hatred of Ultiduo in a different article. But yes, my second most played class, after 105 hours as Medic, is Soldier, at a measly 26 hours. According to my current stats. I’m still miffed about the Pyromancer achievement that was reset. I WAS SO CLOSE DAMMIT. But yes, I’m an alright Soldier. I’m certainly better than your run of the mill Valve server commoner.

That was unnecessarily mean. There’s plenty of good Valve server users out there, scattered among the rabble.

My Soldiering skills are alright. I know to reload regularly. I can somewhat reliably throw people into the air. Whether I get the airshot or not, that’s up to debate, but dammit I’ll do my best. I know when to bring what weapon where, when to back off and not be a moron. I’ll also apologise after randomly killing an entire team with a random critical hit, because that’s so unfair when you’re pushing a payload cart.

I’m okay at killing too, but I have always been someone who focuses on objectives and staying alive. Throw me into a normal game of MGE, I’ll flail around. Throw me into a 1v1 miniature KOTH game and I’ll be very happy. I’ve actually had a lot of fun playing mini-KOTH in MGE on one of the weirder mini-maps (Turris). My point is, if I have something to defend or attack, I am much happier than just attacking and trying to kill someone.

I do understand a lot of the technical stuff too. As long as it’s not rocket jumping.

To be fair, I can do basic rocket jumps. Vertical ones are easy. Vertical ones that go slightly horizontal are good too. I’ll generally find a way to get to a high up place. Some of my jumps are quite good, I won’t lose too much health. But that’s where I get problems. As I play, I keep constant check on my health. My ammo, not so much, I do occasionally run out when I’m using one of the banners and don’t have a shotgun to fall back to. I never seem to run out of ammo if I use a shotgun though. But as I was saying, I am always keeping an eye on my health, simply because I hate losing it so much. My many, many hours of playing Medic have taught me to avoid taking damage as much as possible.

So I’m loathe to rocket jump and lose most of my health, unless I can guarantee a health kit. And most of the time I fuck up the long jumps anyway, so I might as well just walk, it’s easier. I can also take the Pocket Rollout Route and damage myself heavily, use the Escape Plan (RIP Equalizer) to run to wherever the fuck I’m going super fast then just snag all the health kits or pray a Medic arrives to heal me.

Alternatively, I could just use the Disciplinary Action and give everyone a speed boost.

When the damn thing works, that is.