Stupidly Simple Fixes – Part 2

A note before I start: these are just ideas and thoughts, both my own and combined with other people’s thoughts, particularly SPUFers. Do me a favour and don’t take them as absolutes or anything. Should have put this at the top of the previous article, really. And probably should have published this before the Gun Mettle update, but oh well. Bad timing and all that. Still, I like my ideas better.

Anyway, considering that Valve hasn’t really been doing much lately when it comes to balance changes, I’ve decided to take things into my own hands and try and fix things myself. Most weapons are relatively simple in design, some of which are really just plus/minus stats. Even complicated, overly hated weapons can be salvaged. Everything can be saved in my eyes! Apart from the Vita-Saw. The thing is, a lot of these changes (nerfs in particular) can be temporary until the weapon in question is reworked.

So, let’s get started!

The Loch-n-Load
Level 10 Grenade Launcher
+25% damage bonus
+40% projectile speed
Mini-crits targets launched airborne by explosions
-70% explosion radius

No one likes the Loch-n-Load but no one has a problem with the Direct Hit, so let’s turn the Loch-n-Load into the Direct Hit for Demomen. I toned down the damage and projectile speed bonuses though, so Demomen aren’t one-shotting light classes.

The New Solemn Vow
Level 8 Bust of Hippocrates
Can see Enemy health
-90% Damage Reduction

This one is pretty much what I’ve always wanted. Seeing enemy health is a stupidly good thing, so there needs to be some downside. I was tempted to give it a 90% damage reduction on all weapons, but no one would ever use it then.

The New Third Degree
Level 10 Fire Axe
All players connected via Medigun beams are hit
If a Medic is harmed while healing you, you also receive damage

No one uses the Third Degree. It’s the other straight upgrade that no one talks about because it’s not very useful. But I don’t want to leave it out of the Stupidly Simple Fixes list because my answer to it is stupidly simple. The downside is just as unrealistic as the upside.

The New Tide Turner
Level 10 ‘Shield’
+25% Fire Damage Resistance
+25% Explosive Damage Resistance
Full turning control while Charging
Kills while charging fill 75% of your charge meter
-25% Bullet Damage Resistance

Because charge draining is a bollocks mechanic. Drains in general are a crappy mechanic and are no fun for the victim. But just 75% recharge on kill still makes this too strong when paired with the Claid, so I’ve thrown on a bullet vulnerability, to make Grenade Knight’s weakness more obvious. Because seriously this gives better stats than a shield made of metal. I know Demoknight doesn’t compare to Demoman, but being killed from a mile away because of a critical hit around a corner caused by crappy hit detection is no fun for anyone.

The New Axtinguisher
Level 5 Fire Axe

No, seriously, the problem with the Axtinguisher wasn’t really a problem. A Pyro got into point blank range, set you on fire and did his damn job. The problem that everyone has is being airblasted into a corner where you can’t move then being killed by the Pyro hitting you with his flamethrower, because the switch time was so fast the game didn’t have enough time to render the Axtinguisher. The problem lies with the Degreaser and Reserve Shooter. Of course, this change would require that the Degreaser and other flamethrowers get reworked first.

The New Iron Bomber
Level 1 Grenade launcher
Grenades have very little bounce or roll
-10% damage on grenades that explode on timer

As it is, the Iron Bomber is a direct downgrade. The bounciness of grenades is used to lob them over props and other things in the way, as well as people trying to copy what happens in Meet the Demoman. Which isn’t possible. I propose we just remove the second downside, which hurt on top of Demoman’s other damage radius reductions.

I think that will do for today. I could make a whole series out of this!

Oh, wait.


Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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