Voice Lines – Scout

"My unicorn magic does nothing!"
“My unicorn magic does nothing!”

One of the things that makes Team Fortress 2 unique, apart from the cartoon style, the unique classes, the cool weapons, the hats and a bunch of other stuff, is all the chatter. Most of this talking comes from the voice lines spewed from our favourite mercenaries while killing each other, so you don’t always hear them. In this article, I’m going to rectify this problem, starting with the Scout.

By the way, before we start, all sounds here are from the Official Team Fortress 2 wiki.

First off, melee. Scouts have lines for whenever you kill someone with a melee weapon, and you’ll probably have heard some of them. Turns out there’s actually lines for kills with all the melee weapons, not just a bunch of general ones. You’ve probably heard the line “‘Ey, is somebody keepin’ track of my heads batted in?” but have you heard the “Sweet!” line used with kills with the Candy Cane? Did you know that Scouts have custom lines for when you kill someone with the Holy Mackerel or the Fan-o-War? Probably not, particularly if you don’t use those weapons. A kill with the Fan-o-War has a one in three chance of breaking the fourth wall, daring the enemy to rage quit. This line is borrowed from the Scout’s domination lines. Scouts also shout a unique line if they kill a Heavy with their melee weapon, screaming that they should “Eat it, fatty!”.

Scout also has a HUGE number of voice lines for one item, Bonk! Atomic Punch. Most of these are simply sarcastic remarks when he’s dodging bullets, although some of these lines play when you’re low on health and are holding Bonk!, like this line. Anyone who uses Crit-a-Cola knows that if you fire a weapon not long after using your drink, yet another voice line plays. Those with even keener ears who use Crit-a-Cola may have noticed that Scout might shout “Ah crap!” when the effects of the drink wear off.

On top of these lines for both melee and secondary weapons, the Scout has lines for when he does stuff with his primary too. All classes have responses for when they kill multiple enemies in a short space of time, but Scout says stuff when he’s jumping with the Force A Nature. “Hehey, I’m flyin’!”. No, you’re not, Scout.

Most of Scout’s voice lines while capturing objectives seem rather normal. In Capture the Flag, Scout will claim that he’s “not even winded!” when capturing the flag, and he’s just as abrasive as everyone else when it comes to capping a control point. But somewhere along the lines in Payload, there’s been a screw up. On Attack, Scout’s lines are fine. On Defense though, it’s a different story. If the cart is moving forward while on defense, you might hear Scout shout about keeping the cart moving. He has three different lines that play when they shouldn’t.

One thing you may have noticed among Scout’s voice lines is that Scout is so definitely sure that he’s handsome, to the point that he’s too handsome to die. Loot only makes him more handsome while having a giant head makes him only slightly less handsome. He’ll even say he’s handsome while dominating people while wearing a scary hat.

Speaking of hats, Scout has a few custom lines for cosmetic items, namely the Haunted Hat, the Cursed Voodoo Soul and the Magical Mercenary. Scout’s zombie lines only play when idle, where he’ll randomly go on about brains or coming back from the dead, but the Haunted Hat and Magical Mercenary have lines that override others, particularly at round start. Oddly, Scout refers to the Haunted Hat as ‘scary hat’ throughout all his voice lines, and the hat has far more lines than the Magical Mercenary. Nonetheless, Scout knows that the Magical Mercenary is obviously related to that which should not be named. He’ll sometimes deny being a unicorn though.

Let’s finish off with something that Scout is right about. Not sure how you get him to say this, but it’s so true…


Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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