Medic tries to explain more things…

There’s so much unexplained stuff that it hurts in Team Fortress 2. Alright, it doesn’t really hurt, but for an anal retentive OCD person, it probably does annoy them a bit. Just a bit, mind you. There’s generally more important things to be bothered about, like whether you locked all the doors or whether you turned the gas off. Today, I’m going to actually finish this article because I’ve been writing it on and off for about two months¬†explain a few more things. Mostly taunt-related for some reason.

The Medicating Melody Taunt
Personally, I rarely find a chance to use the Amputator taunt. The way the Kritzkrieg taunt, Oktoberfest, works is obvious, as I get drunk of those lovely fumes. It’s not clear with the Amputator taunt. I do have miniature music players built into each of my melee weapons (apart from the Solemn Vow) because I like a bit of classical music. Technology though limits me to how much music I can put into a single melee weapon though. The Amputator is different. It uses residue Medi Gun energy to heal people, hence why it doesn’t heal that fast. The music is just to tell me it’s working.

The Spinal Tap Taunt
On the opposite end of the Medic Taunt scale, we have Spinal Tap, Medic’s fairly slow taunt kill. Used to be great when it was silent, but it’s harder to pull off now that Medics always shout “I’m going to saw through your bones!” when it’s clearly a stab. But how do you get Uber from the Ubersaw? It’s all about kinetic energy. When you hit someone with the Ubersaw, the weapon converts kinetic energy into electric energy, which is then transferred to one’s Medi Pack and stored as Uber. Why does Spinal Tap give you full Uber? It’s really hard stabbing someone right through their body. Needs a lot of energy.

The Showdown Taunt
Also referred to as the Pow Haha! taunt by some rather strange people, it’s quite a wonder how the Heavy manages to kill people with his bare fists. There’s no gun. There’s no visible projectile. There’s nothing. In the actual game, the taunt works a bit like firing a normal hitscan weapon but with a very limited range (apparently about 9 Heavies long). But think about it, there are invisible things in TF2. Maybe Heavy has an invisible gun in case of emergencies?

The Haduken Taunt
So how DOES Pyro shoot fire from his hands? Well, from Pyro’s point of view, he’s probably firing balls of rainbows and candy. A logical idea would be to say that Pyros have little tubes of gas running down their sleeves but there’s no physical tube or hole or anything… unless he just lets flammable fumes seep through his gloves. Considering who we’re dealing with here, that seems almost plausible. Or Pyro could actually be a magician. If a mediocre wizard like Merasmus can create fire, I bet Pyro could.

The Rocket Jumper and the Sticky Jumper
These two weapons allow you to practice explosive jumping without the hassle of hurting yourself from explosions. Of course, since you don’t get hurt, no one gets hurt. So how do these grenade-like objects propel you? The same way airblasts propel you of course! And because the projectiles are made out of rubber, they don’t explode and leave bits of shrapnel and fire in your legs. Downside is there’s little you can do about the fall damage. Oh well.

Amusingly, using the Rocket Jumper allowed you to survive the explosion from Soldier’s Kamikaze Escape Plan/Equalizer taunt. That’s because he used to have grenades filled with the same stuff as the Rocket Jumper rockets. Some evil person took those harmless grenades away and replaced them with real ones.

And I’m sick of writing now. Hope you enjoyed reading this.

Pow! Haha!

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