“Get Autobalanced,” ft. the Lonely Skybox

Lock eyes from across the room
Down my Bonk! while the rockets boom
Strafe your shots and hug your face
So your own sentry kills you in my place
Make my way through the enemy lines
When a revved-up heavy I suddenly find
Move in close, let the baseball fly
My scattergun fires and the angels cry
Leave your base go back to mine
Intel papers fluttering behind
The winning cap’s what I’ve got instore
Gloat over chat that I want some more
And I
GET AUTOBALANCED

I really don’t get how that pyro was there
I passed four of my teammates, were they hearing impaired?
Mainly their fault, I did everything right
But I
GET AUTOBALANCED

Don’t kill me during victory time
It was thanks to me this team’s three caps behind
I’m very indignant, some would say thats a plus

Now I’ll disconnect and change

I need more metal for my Sentry nest
Ammo crate stolen by a friendly pest
Left me heart broken not lookin’ for aid
But I need this teleporter to be made
Gun down a spy who tried to sap
Reach the small ammo box across the map
Save my sentry with the Rescue Ranger
And finally my nest is out of danger
Then an arrow flies through the air with a whistle
“You were killed by Twilight Sparkle’s Magic Missile”
And I
GET AUTOBALANCED

In my defense he was miles away
Bodyshots are a legitimate tactic, they say
But now my buildings just stopped existing cause I
GET AUTOBALANCED

To be fair I could build them again
But the payload’s a few inches from the end
Like that gives me any time to erect
One more thing, I’m gonna disconnect

Last week – I countersniped
As I recall it was a headshot snipe
As I reload I’m suddenly killed
The deathcam shows he had the Danger Shield and I
GET AUTOBALANCED

95% Uber while pushing last
If I could only find a combat class
A scout turns the corner with the Crit-a-Cola glow and I
GET AUTOBALANCED

The next map I fill my Banner and I
GET AUTOBALANCED

When my best friend and I finally join the same team I
GET AUTOBALANCED

Tried to switch loadouts while standing in spawn and I
GET AUTOBALANCED

There was no one around and I
GET AUTOBALANCED

I went-
GET AUTOBALANCED

OK, seriously Valve can we, ok?

I GET AUTOBALANCED EVERY TIME WE’RE GONNA WIN
AND WHEN YOU’RE SHOOTING CRITS, I’M IN HUMILIATION
YOU SAY IT’S RANDOM CHANCE, I CALL IT PURGATORY
I PLAY THE SERVER WHERE I PAID FOR SWITCH IMMUNITY

Cuz I
GET AUTOBALANCED
(I get autobalanced, I get autobalanced, yes get autobalanced, yes I get autobalanced)
yes I GET AUTOBALANCED
(I get autobalanced, I get autobalanced)

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH