My first look into competitive Team Fortress 2

A while back (actually, the day before the Demoknights VS Highlander event), I was asked by Confusion to play Medic for a 4v4 match. After informing him that 1. I was not actually a very good player, 2. I was a mediocre Medic at best and 3. I’d never played an ounce of competitive TF2 before, outside SPUF events, I decided “what the hell” and agreed to play. Honestly, I didn’t even know that the SPUF-based EU 4v4 team was still alive, let alone still competing.

It would have been a missed opportunity if I’d declined, and I’d have let down a friend. But to say I was nervous was an understatement. It was on KOTH_Airfield, a map I’d never played before, in a format I’d never played before, with people who I hadn’t really played with before. I don’t often play with SPUFers because they’re normally busy or asleep or I’m not in the mood to get my backside handed to me. Getting my ass kicked is a very familiar thing to happen to me.

So yeah, where was I? Oh yes, I was busy being nervous. On the team were Confusion, Jensen and Vintage Combustible Keith, with me subbing as Medic. The other team was called TheBlessfulOnionTears, which makes as little sense as our team’s name, Special Convoy of Universal Derailers. Or SCUD, since we’d originally named the 4v4 teams SPUF and SCUD. Good guys that they were, they explained to me multiple times what the plan was and what we were all doing. We also spent a long time discussing the names of certain areas, particularly the two rocks on either side of the control point. Being symmetrical and both important areas, as there was a giant health kit and an ammo pack at the base of each rock.

We spent an hour messing around discussing things and getting everything sorted, waiting for the other team to invite us to their server. In the end, they appeared on the server we were on, which we had borrowed.

I kinda wish they hadn’t.

Now, our team wasn’t exactly sane, but at least we didn’t spend the entire match spamming random insults.

Anyway, the match started. I was running Kritzkrieg, since that’s what you do in 4v4. The Vaccinator and the Quick Fix are both banned, leaving the Kritzkrieg and the Medi Gun. Confusion started as Soldier, Jensen was Demoman, Keith was Scout.  My inability to walk in straight lines and my inability to tether-jump meant I stuck with Confusion, overhealing Jensen and Keith as they dashed out. We headed out, expecting a similar roll out from the other team.

It was surprising to see a Sniper, a Pyro, a Scout and a Soldier confronting us. While the Pyro got a lick of flame in, we killed them all and captured the point. That’s when the insults started. There were insults everywhere. But we just ignored them and kept on wiping them. For a while, we were spawncamping pretty badly. Occasionally, they’d switch classes, and we saw most classes, even Engineer and Spy, both of whom aren’t particularly good in 4v4.

After the second win, Jensen and Keith were getting bored and decided to switch it up a bit. Jensen played Sniper for a bit, sitting by the rock outside the spawn room, while Keith set up a level 3 sentry in the left path to the control point. I stuck with Confusion, trying my best to not get killed. Confusion was just firing rockets at anything that moved.

One of the players on the opposing team wasn’t too bad, but half the team seemed to have given up and one of them was basically sitting in spawn doing nothing, making it even more unfair. They spewed a lot of crap about none of us having lives and being obsessed with competitive TF2 and trading and all that, but quietened down when I mentioned my inexperience. Confusion, Keith and Jensen all came up with their own witty responses.

In the end, we steamrolled them, winning 4 – 0.

This picture sums up the entire match.
This picture sums up the entire match.

So, what do I think of my first true competitive experience? Well, not much. I wish it had been a closer match, instead of an utter steam roll. They only managed to capture the control point once, and we recaptured within seconds. They could barely leave their spawn room and gave up before the match even began.

But if you guys ask me to play 4v4 again, I’ll definitely join you. It certainly was fun. Intense, but fun.


Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

One thought on “My first look into competitive Team Fortress 2

  • December 3, 2014 at 5:04 pm

    Well that’s an unfortunate first experience. I am convinced that a person’s first comp match is always cursed. At mine, the enemy team entirely failed to show up at all.


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