Things TF2 still really needs

I wrote an article about things that Team Fortress 2 lacks before and none of those things got added, as far as I recall. In Valve’s eyes, I simply don’t exist unless I’m sorting out my brother’s stuff after he got phished. And even then it took a week for Steam Support to sort things out. So since Valve clearly doesn’t acknowledge my existence, here’s another list of things that Valve should add to TF2. Because why not? If you want, you can read the first article here. 1. Play testing before updates. The last few TF2 updates have been… [Continue Reading]

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Ah, Geoff.

Ah Geoff, the Medi Gun for the person who hates building Uber and overhealing and wants to make his life needlessly complicated. I’ll be honest, my relationship with Geoff has been veering towards the bad side of things more and more and more. It wasn’t until I completely and utterly fucked up my binds for the Vaccinator (I forgot that I no longer had reload bound to Mouse5) that I realised why no one else was stupid enough to use this thing against hordes of grenade-knights. I wasn’t even meant to play in that match anyway… Anyway, rants and stuff… [Continue Reading]

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Future Suggestions for Heavies

I feel sorry for Heavy mains, since everyone says they’re skilless noobs who should try to learn a different class. On the one hand, those Heavy-hating Scout mains do have a point, but on the other hand, why are you being so mean for no reason? The Heavy Weapons Guy is a simple class to play though. Anything you do playing as Heavy can be carried on to other classes, he doesn’t really have anything special that you need to learn just for him. Alright, there’s spin up/down time and jump-revving, not to mention the art of throwing sandviches at… [Continue Reading]

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What if Scout Got a Grenade Launcher?

Would you be interested in playing the Scout with the Grenade Launcher as your primary? Or perhaps the Loose Cannon for all you Force-a-Nature fans? It might seem a bit different at first, having to rely on explosives instead of hitscan, but I don’t doubt an enterprising player could find a way to make it work. I’ll stop beating around the bush. If you have any interest in playing a scout with a grenade launcher, try the Sticky Jumper. Several users on SPUF have been complaining (again) about the jumpers, claiming that they’re impossible to use efficiently and should be… [Continue Reading]

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Art Time with Medic – How to make a clay Medi Gun

Why clay? Because I have lots of clay right now. I recommend Paper Clay (I use a combination of FIMO paper clay and cheap paper clay from Thailand that I got in the nearest toystore). This isn’t too hard, but it does require patience as clay is a pain in the ass at times. You will need: Paper Clay – Depends on the size, I got my 500g block for €1.50. That should be plenty for anything small-scale. Modelling tools – Cheap plastic ones are perfectly fine. Something sharp – A box cutter is good, because we’ll need straight lines.… [Continue Reading]

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An Attempt to Explain Metal

Keys risen up to eleven refined metal!  Oh Noes!  The price of keys relative to metal has risen rather steadily over the past couple of years or so.  Apparently every time the price goes up by a refined, someone has to make some sort of thread about it.  Honestly, I don’t really care that much, dealing with the traders is too much of a pain for me anyway.  Nonetheless, I will make an attempt to theorize what is going on in the market of metal as a currency. In standard macroeconomics there are a couple formulas used to estimate the… [Continue Reading]

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Are Three Weapon Slots Not Enough?

One thing that makes Engy and Spy unique are their PDAs (fourth and fifth slot tools). It gives them a unique role without pigeonholing their main weaponry. Imagine if Spy could only have a revolver, knife and cloak and Engy could only have Construction PDA, Shotgun and Wrench! It would severely limit their role and their combat effectiveness. I believe the same is true with the Heavy, the Pyro and possibly the Scout, the Sniper and the Medic. Wouldn’t it be amazing if they had an extra ‘PDA’ slot for an extra weapon or consumable? If you look at the… [Continue Reading]

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Demoknights VS Highlanders – The Results!

When they said “Demoknight” they didn’t mean what I saw in tonight’s Demoknights VS Highlanders match. Demoknight implies some bastard Demoman using the Booties, the Targe and one of the swords. Demoknight implies Sword-using-moron. No, what I saw tonight was NOTHING BUT GRENADES WHICH BLOCKED OUT THE SUN. Hybrid Demoknights VS Highlander was even more hell than Gunslingers VS Highlanders when it came to spam. At any one time, there were as many as 36 grenades at once, all flying towards the hapless Highlanders. Originally, I hadn’t planned to play in the Demoknight VS Highlander match, but a lack of players… [Continue Reading]

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Taunt Situations

The G key. What a mysterious creature, the G key. What does it want from us? What does it even do? Be careful, dear readers… Be careful. Taunting was a feature that existed in the very first release of Team Fortress 2, and has since grown into somewhat of a staple of SPUF’s favorite game. The Sniper’s Wave, KABOOOOM!, The Medic’s Oktoberfest. Some of these taunts form the very backbone of characters, too, like the Spy’s many revolver taunts where he takes the time, in the heat of battle, to adjust his tie and brush off his coat. The Medic… [Continue Reading]

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They’re telling you something.

Back in my day, I used to play Arena Mode 22/7. If I wasn’t playing Arena Mode, I was busy killing donators on a 24/7 Saigns Junction server, because I had no life and no friends and dominating a guy with infinite ammo and double jumps with a stealthy ninjaneering sentry was amusing to me. I’ve gone on about this so damn often that I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to kick me in the head. Believe me, I often want to kick myself in the head. But over time, the Arena servers died. The only ones left are… [Continue Reading]

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