Not so serious title there. It’s one of those attention-grabbing things that would automatically get you a huge pile of downvotes on any site that uses an upvote / downvote system. But there is some truth to that attention-grabbing title. There is something wrong with the Crusader’s Crossbow.
Firstly, a historical thing. Crusaders were bastards. All they did was incite holy war against people with different beliefs. Bastards, the lot of them.
Anyway, back to our version of this medieval beauty. The Crusader’s Crossbow is the only non-Syringe Gun Medic primary. The only one. Probably forever, since Medic primaries are not really that important. All the other primaries fire small syringes at a high rate of fire, with 40 of them in a clip. Or is it a magazine? Or is it neither, since you normally don’t store syringes in a magazine or a clip, but in either individual sterile wrappers or in a sharps bin, ready to be properly disposed? With the Crossbow, it’s one giant syringe, formerly an arrow. Personally, I preferred the arrow, it was less… ominous.
But yes, back to the Crossbow. It’s also unique since it heals allies. Snipe healing. And it has reverse falloff, so the further the enemy or ally, the more damage or healing it does.
On paper, the Crossbow looks either a tiny bit better or a tiny bit worse. Its official stats (as seen in one’s backpack) actually make it look bad, because it has the (somewhat needless) downside of Cannot do Headshots. That’s silly, no other Medic weapon can headshot, neither can most other single-projectile weapons. The only one that can is the Huntsman and that has its own unique mechanics. But when you put everything into practice, you realize that Medic weapons don’t follow the same rules as other weapons.
Medic primary weapons are last ditch weapons. They often stay hidden away until you’re completely screwed, as a desperate attempt to survive. So these weapons don’t really get applauded for their damage, they are used for their utility. It’s why the Blutsauger is considered the worst syringe gun by people who know what they’re doing – the downside of less regenerating health means you’re more reliant on medkits and having to pull out your Blutsauger to steal heath from others. Anyone else would just rely on their more reliable passive healing and continue building Uber with their Medi Gun.
That’s not to say the Blutsauger isn’t a bad weapon. It’s not, it’s a perfectly fair and balanced weapon. The problem is that the other unlockables are vastly superior. The Overdose for example is almost a direct upgrade, because the damage reduction is occasionally negligible.
This brings us neatly back to the Crossbow. It’s vastly superior to everything. Assuming basic levels of aim (which I don’t have), you can heal anyone from anywhere as long as you have a line of sight. While a non-Crossbow Medic would just have to run up and heal you, a Crossbow Medic can just spam syringes in your general direction and heal quite a bit of health. A minimum of SEVENTY FIVE (yes, 75) health at point blank, up to 150 health. Alright, there’s no Overheal, but still, that’s a lot of healing. The maximum damage is also 75 at maximum range, which isn’t great, heck even the minimum damage at point blank (38) isn’t a lot, but that’s still 3 or 4 normal syringes in one hit. On top of all that, the Crossbow has passive reloading – you put the weapon away, it’ll be reloaded when you switch back to it. None of the other Medic primaries get that.
There’s also a second side affect to this. Because the Crossbow works whether you hit an enemy or an ally, it’s actually better to spam Crossbow bolts if you’ve got no one to heal. No matter what you hit, it’s good for your team.
We’re left with a small conundrum. Do we nerf the crossbow or do we make the other weapons better? Or do we do both? Either way, there’s a risk that something will get left behind even more, and something would still probably be the best choice.
Basically, if you don’t have craptastic aim like me, there’s no reason to use anything but the Crossbow.