Please do something.

Maybe I am taking this a bit too far. Maybe. *Sniff.* Maybe. But I’ve yet to see someone who can outsmart bullet any real progress this year. The only thing of note so far is the Workshop Beta, but that’s peppered with holes and stuff. It’s also like 5 years too late, TF2Maps and Gamebanana have been helping us fine good and bad maps since TF2’s birth. And let’s not get started on Quickplay.

Then there’s Mannpower, which was introduced, got some balance patches then got ignored.

Before that there was End of the Line, which was probably the first pay-to-play update technically – the only thing you could do for free was watch the video.

There were also two maps, but no one can remember what they are.

On top of all that, we’ve barely even had new crates.

Okay, okay, I know, it’s that time of year. Every year there is a drought between the Smissmas update and whatever nonsense Valve have planned for summer. Normally an update comes along at the same time the Steam Summer Sale does, but that’s already been and gone. Like, it’s long gone. Of course, the Summer Sale is basically a money printing machine for Valve, so they’re going to concentrate on it a lot, but that’s not really stopped the TF team before. Content update droughts are somewhat normal, more so with genuine content update droughts (I swear the TF team has a button that says “Add crate with hats” next to the Item Server Off Button) but we’ve had, well, um…

Yeah, it’s just been small patches, bug that should have been fixed years ago (RIP Gunslinger triple punch bug – that had essentially become a feature!) and the Map Workshop Beta, which will probably always be a Beta, if you compare it to the other Betas we’ve had.

There’s the comic series too. The last update about it was “one or two months”, as well as the fact that Miss Pauling is gay and Medic feels guilty about Sniper. Still a while off.

Oh, I forgot! There was also the promise of matchmaking. But I genuinely doubt that will happen either. They’ve been threatening us with matchmaking for years, yet nothing has ever actually happened. Plus, matchmaking, like the map workshop and the Gunslinger triple punch bug, should have been done years ago.

Heck, the TF2 community, the real TF2 community, would be happy with closure. Give us one last stability update to keep the game running in the future, give everyone every weapon in unique quality, leave the item servers running for a while, then tell us that’s it, no more updates. Assuming you don’t fuck up the last update, which, knowing what the TF team can be like, will probably happen. Nothing kills a game faster than a game-breaking patch.

Alternatively, if you’re not going to do anything, do what I suggested in my version of the Please Do Something thread – make someone happy. Preferably me, but any unlucky sod will do.

Otherwise we’ll do this again.