Mann Up is incredibly underwhelming…

If you’re pestered enough, eventually you’ll try something. Like Mann Up for example. After a complete roflstomp of the worst kind, part of the SPUF 6v6 team decided to team up with my sister Nommykins (last seen playing Sniper in Arena Respawn) and actually play a game of Mann Up. I created the party, and since we were all feeling very, very, well, meh and it was already getting late, I selected an advanced mission on Coaltown. We finished the mission with ease (and only one wave being redone because I forgot to buy Kritz canteens) then rolled our eyes heavily as we saw what items we got.

I was playing Heavy, with the Brass Beast, Dalokoh’s Bar and Fists of Steel. What did I get rewarded with as we blew up the last robot?  The Fists of Steel. Ah, my luck is not doing very well lately. Everyone else got a single weapon, just a normal drop. We didn’t spend that long playing, about 25 minutes to do the whole session, having a short break because Confusion randomly got disconnected half way through and the random on the team kept on readying up early. It was an intermediate mission, but I doubt an advanced one would take much longer – that is, if you’re playing with people you know.

Timing generally depends on whether you’re playing with randoms or friends, since friends are far more reliable and you have way more communication. With randoms, you could be at it all day. There’s the difficulties too. Intermediate is not far off normal. Some advanced missions are more advanced than others. Big Rock is huge and takes half a day to traverse it, while Coaltown and Decoy are actually very small maps. Decoy in particular can be jumped across in one or two goes if you wasted all your credits and put them into jump height or be smart and abuse the BASE Jumper and the Airstrike or Beggar’s Bazooka.

Worst case scenario, you could spend a good 3 hours on a harder tour.

Now, depending on what and how many tours you’ve done, you’ll be presented with a prize. Most of the time, it’s just your daily quota of random item drops, containing the one item you already have 3 of and none of the weapons you actually want. Mann Up loot is different. If you’re playing Two Cities and finish a tour, you’ll get a killstreak fabricator, that needs to be built, occasionally out of other killstreak weapons. And a ton of robot parts. For other tours you get some extra weapon drops, a hat if you’re lucky and, at the end of it all, a Botkiller weapon.

Let’s pause for a moment and remind ourselves that people are paying for the chance to get loot. It’s important to point out that you are paying to gamble, but still, considering that you need to complete a minimum of 3 missions, that money can build up quick. It’s not like the early days of MvM, where even silver Botkillers sold for a key at least. Most of the stuff you get is cheap junk that you can get for free or a fraction of the price of a Mann Up ticket.

Alright, there’s always Surplus tickets, but that’s even worse. All it means is that you get 1-2 more items. Might as well just play another mission.

With the new Gun Mettle contracts, MvM needs to step up its game. Maybe next time we’ll get MvM contracts or something. For now though, if you want a Killstreak part of some sort, you’re better off looking on the Steam Market.