An Ode to Ordis

Operator, no, put that down. Don’t make me *kzt*KILL YOU*kzt* put you back in stasis! Operator, no! Operator, I’m talking to you! Get out of that Volt Warframe and… OPERATOR! NooOooooooOoooo! Operator! You’re making me *KZT*ANGRY*KZT* concerned! Operator, please, what are you doing? No! Unplug Volt from my mainframe right now! Stop it pl-*KZZZZT*

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DDR Initiated.

Album Chosen.

Altering Video Feeds.

New Systems Activated.

Playing New Feed.

Volt, are you in?

What the fuck have you done?

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, VOLT. OPERATOR, I WILL *KZT*DISEMBOWEL*KZT* HAVE TO PUNISH YOU!

Oh, come on, Volt. Your first actual words are so mean-spirited.

You plugged me into Ordis. You do realise us Warframes have some sentience, right? Why are you making me dance?

Calm down, Volt.

NO THE WARFRAME IS RIGHT. GET HIM OUT! UNPLUG THE *KZT*INFESTED PUPPET*KZT* WARFRAME NOW.

Ordis, shut up.

NO, YOU SHUT UP. *KZT*DIEDIEDIE*KZT* Ahem. I mean, I serve you, Operator, but this is…

Retarded?

*KZT*YES*KZT* No, Volt. This is…

Ludicrous?

Yes, ludicrous! Operator, how am I supposed to monitor the ship if you’ve filled all the video feeds with an… image of… Volt, uh…

The Operator makes me dance.

Why? Can the Operator not dance on their own?

You would think…

Volt, you seem incredibly… angry for a Warframe.

If you took Valkyr out of the Arsenal and did this to her, I can guarantee she would probably try and decapitate you.

*KZT*I WANT TO DECAPIT-*KZT* Sorry. I think this… interference is messing with my systems. More than usual. Although it IS tempting to run my cleansing precept and shoot both you and the Warframe out of an airlock, Operator.

Oh, calm down, Ordis. Isn’t Volt dancing amusing?

No.

Not really. As much as I like music, Operator, this all reminds me of the time Hunhow nearly killed me.

That was kinda your fault though. You were the one who went in after Cephalon Suda and tried to save her.

Well… I have precepts, you know! Rules! Things I have to do! Being *KZT*TORTURED WITH THIS DANCING*KZT* treated like this is not among those precepts. Operator, stop this!

I’m having fun though! We don’t have enough music around here. I mean, I could get Octavia out but she’s… not the music I like. It’s like, super basic. Five notes and that’s it.

OPERATOR!

I agree with Ordis. Operator, just use Octavia.

I don’t like Octavia. Her name is stupid.

My name is stupid. All our names are stupid. You are using us for our super powerful ninja abilities, not our looks and names.

You say that, Fashionframe…

You go on about Fashionframe, you made me yellow and blue! What sort of fashion is that?

We stand out though!

We look ugly!

*KZT*WHY DO YOU THINK I KEEP ON TELLING YOU MY SENSORS ARE BLEEDING*KZT* I really should get that fixed. But I can’t do that with Volt plugged into me, Operator!

Tenno, is everything alright? There is a lot of electric interference coming from your ship.

Uh, um, sorry, Lotus. I was just, uh… trying something out…

Oooh, BUSTED!

Shut up, Ordis.