The Six Hundred and Seventieth Article

Out of all the numbers out there, I really like the number 70. I’ve never really understood why. It’s just a neat number. Not really divisible by much. Not particularly interesting. But it looks nice. Clean almost. Why am I talking about the number 70? Because I missed my 666th article due to A Week of Love and Hate 3, and I didn’t want to wait until my 700th article, even though it’s the number 700 and 700 is way more impressive than 70. But still, here I am, publishing my 670th article. Complete with images that have nothing to do with anything really.

I say publishing because I’ve actually written more than that. 690 total articles, published, pending and drafted, on the Daily SPUF alone. Over on the Phoviverse, my personal universe, I’ve written 410 articles, and that increases every couple of days. In total, that’s over a thousand published articles.

And that’s not counting all the other stuff I’ve written. Really, I’ve been writing ever since I properly discovered the internet back in 2007 and started making accounts on websites I liked to visit. I rose to semi-fame on BZPower for two reasons – my ‘questionnaire’ threads and my ‘eater’ threads. While the former were simply questions worded in a way people liked to answer, the ‘eater’ threads were all stories in which Bionicle characters would be hunted down, killed and eaten. Often with lots of glimmers of hope, then all that hope being destroyed.

Volt waiting for the Extraction Team
Sometimes though, it is all very tiring…

Anyway, now isn’t the time for doom and gloom. I’m… celebrating, I guess? I don’t know. Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate how much I’ve accomplished. I often just want to sit around feeling sad/sorry/angry at myself. Often thinking I should do more, or better. On top of my constant bad moods and depression, it’s really easy to lose track of what matters.

Well, I should be celebrating. 670 articles is a fuckton of articles. A lot of them aren’t very good, but there are also some amazing articles and stories in my collection. On top of that, I’ve created a vibrant universe. It’s convoluted as heck and pretty cliche at times, but damn it all if my universe isn’t unique.

And I might not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I’ve got some decent talents. I can make cool websites, I’m a dab hand with WordPress and I’m pretty good at both digital art and a pencil. I’m also a maniac when it comes to fonts, having about 2000 of them (including variants – although I swear most of them are Helvetica variants) on my PC alone. That’s not a talent, really, but it’s still impressive, especially when I’m pretty good at finding missing fonts.

On the flip side, tomorrow is my birthday. I’m going to be 25. Which isn’t related to the numbers 670 or 70, but it is a third of 75, another number I like. The problem though is the fact that I’m well on my way to the age of 30, which is depressing as heck. At least 670 articles, plus more pending, plus my Phoviverse articles, plus everything else, is an achievement that will make me feel better.

Plus, I’ve always got Volt. He makes me feel better.

Volt standing strong. And in the dark.

Especially when I’ve got fancy pictures and a new way to make them. But that’s for a later article.

Anyway, back to normal articles, right? Right.


Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 45% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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