The Nonsense that is the Glast Gambit Quest

Who likes gambling? Raise your hands! Well, none of you probably like gambling as much as the fictional Nef Anyo, a nefarious piece of shit character from Warframe, who you could formally kick the shit out of on Phobos before he was replaced with the Sergeant.

Anyway, this Nef is a complete cock. Because back in the last major update, he went and fucking kidnapped the children from a colony of peaceful folks called the Mycona and left them defenseless. The Perrin Sequence, a bunch of friendly Corpus, are offering vast amounts of money to pay their ransoms, but Nef Anyo is such a ginormous cunt that they have no choice but to get the Tenno involved.

Of course, lik most things in Warframe, I was several months late in getting round to doing this quest. I had to finish the War Within before I could start the Glast Gambit, and we all know how that went.

The Glast Gambit though is a typical get-a-new-Warframe quest, this time round for Nidus, the infested pile of junk that was somehow at some point made by the gold-loving Orokin. How they’re going to explain Nidus Prime when he inevitably comes around, I have no idea. Same with a lot of the Warframes obtained by quests, actually.

This is beside the point. Nagging Spacemom Lotus doesn’t want us to save these people for some reason, she can’t believe these Mycona people live among the infested. Well, not really among, more in little safe pockets surrounded by monsters that want to consume them.

Thing is, the Glast Gambit starts off really well. The Perrin Sequence at least makes you feel sorry for these poor bastards, even if the Lotus doesn’t. You’re told to go to where their base is located to help protect them, as the break-in and kidnapping of their children means they’re exposed. The first mission is extremely simple, all you do is make your way to their base, where they ask you to help defend them while they repair and close the doors that were broken.

But unlike almost any other quest (apart from the Pacifism Defect, which came afterwards), you see other people. The people you are supposed to protect from tyranny. And they are happy to see you, and thankful that you helped them.

After that though, it all goes to shit. Not just for the Myconans and their stolen kids. Turns out the only way to get these kids back is to gamble our credits away in a long, long string of stupid arena battles in the Index.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the Index. Being stripped of things like your Carrier and starting with no energy mean you can’t just mow everything down like normal. Unlike the Grineer counterpart, Rathuum, which involves killing a bunch of guys and whoever gets 25 kills first wins, the Index involves picking up little green things from dropped enemies and depositing them in your team’s ‘bank’. It’s pretty simple and can actually make one quite a lot of credits.

The only problen is the fact that Nef Anyo is a cunt, and he keeps on stacking the odds against you as you inevitably win all the bets everyone makes. At first you just have to win, then you have to win a super narrow victory of 10 points. Of course, then Nef goes and cheats. Of course he does. Then you break his cheating system and win. Eventually, you manage to win back all the kids and all the stuff you lost, but you’ll never want to see the Index again.

Then there’s some other stuff. But no one cares anymore. They just want to murder Nef over and over again, and so do you.

At the end of the day, no one even cares about Nidus. He’s an afterthought, a simple reward to a tedious quest. And unlike the Silver Grove, the quest for Titania, you only get Nidus’s blueprint. The rest of him, you need to do a mind-numbingly simple variant of mobile defense, where Nidus’s parts only drop after every fourth round.

At the end of it all, you feel like you might as well have bought Nidus with Platinum.