It’s so good, I never use it…

The Kritzkrieg is considered the pinnacle of balance in Team Fortress 2. Many a Medic will go on and on about how it’s perfectly balanced, how it’s useful, how… Oh, I don’t know. Despite how great everyone says the Kritzkrieg is, I just can’t bring myself to use it!

The Kritzkrieg, as the name partially implies, has a lot to do with critical hits. Basically, instead of 8 seconds of invulnerability, where only such trivial things such as being airblasted off a cliff can kill you, the Kritzkrieg offers 8 seconds of critical hits. Critical hits, as you all know, don’t suffer from fall-off damage and do triple the current weapon’s base damage. But because we’re trading immortality with mass-murder, the Kritzkrieg has a bonus upside of a 25% faster Ubercharge rate. So, instead of a minimum 40 seconds to get a full Ubercharge, it only takes 32 seconds.

So far, so good. The Kritzkrieg sounds great. It’s a bit more niche-y than the stock Medi Gun, but when you’ve got a Demoman or two on your team, maybe a good Soldier, those crit-stickies and crockets are amazing. The only downside to all this is that you have NO extra protection while using your Kritz Uber. You can still be shot in the head by an enemy Sniper if they somehow manage to see you through the cloud of blood and gibs.

But overall, the Kritzkrieg IS a good weapon. So why don’t I use it more often? Why do I find myself sticking to Stock, or using the Quick Fix or Vaccinator? Why do I just leave my Kritzing for MvM?

It’s because there’s no backup if things go wrong. I imagine you’ve been in a similar situation, you’re fully charged, ready to Uber, when a patient dies before you can save them, or your team abandons you somehow. This is almost always a bad thing, but if you’re using Stock or the Quick Fix, you can use that Uber or Megaheal on yourself and possibly live to fight another day. A Vaccinator Uber might keep you alive for a few seconds longer, depending on what’s chasing you. But as for the Kritzkrieg? Unless you find a new patient who is willing to help you, there’s no safety, no extra protection, no plan B.

There’s another downside too. If you’re like me, often in public servers, there’s a high chance of running into an Engineer with a sentry. Or possibly multiple Engineers and sentries. Sentries are unaffected by critical hits. Using a Kritzkrieg when facing a sentry nest is useless.

I’m not denying it, the Kritzkrieg is great. It is. I believe you all. And it feels great when you wipe out an entire team with a few stickies. But I like having a plan B. I like being able to possibly survive if I find myself all alone. The Kritzkrieg just doesn’t give me that chance.

Oh well.