Hello audience, welcome to the Rentz & Lasby Book Showing! Today I, Don Mister Argeon, am pleased to announce that our committee has finally to a conclusion on what stories we shall publish for you our Australian readers! Before I tell you the results, I’d like for each of you to pick up the surveys we placed underneath your chairs. Keep it close, as Rentz personally sold his last suit to get enough paper for the entire auditorium. Otherwise, let me present to you, the winners of this year’s Write Some Moar! contest!
Out of a fine 54 stories, resulting in 62,146 words (roughly the size of an actual novel), it was a tough time deciding which stories we felt were the best. Some stood above others, yet some contested with each other, fighting for the top spot ’till the last. We pondered over these with frustration, picking at what we thought was the best, and in the very end, we managed to hand-select the few we thought were the best. After the votes were counted, we present to you these short stories!
Before we begin our presentation however, I’d like to take a second and remind you, our lovely audience, to pick up and complete the survey for this contest. IT IS OF DIRE IMPORTANCE to us to know what you thought about this contest in order for us to properly adjust it for next year, so please take two minutes and fill it out with your honest opinions!
To kick of our showcase, I present to you the Drama category. Here many submitted their tear-inducing or soulful tales. Some were so passionate that we had to ship in over a hundred boxes of tissues for our bawling judges a couple of days ago. This was a hard category to decide in with magnificent stories everywhere. In first place we had the tale of chess and TF2 simply titled as Chess. Both powerful in words and feelings, it placed above Where Rainbow Come From, a chilling tale about becoming a mercenary. Followed by the two victors, our runner up is Everything is On Fire, a tale about a mumbling pyromaniac in a therapy session.
First Place Drama: Chess by Stamda
Second Place Drama: Where Rainbow Come From by Hollandiae
Runner Up(s): Everything Is On Fire by Type A
Please, contain your feelings. We don’t have enough tissues to spare for the entire auditorium. Next we move to the Comedy section, or at least something more cheerful in this case. Many comedies tickled the funny bones of the judges and indeed made it hard to choose which one was better. In first place for comedy we have War and Friendship, the diaries between Soldier and Demo as the war between the two went down. Second, we have The Teacher, an amusing short story about Dell Cohanger mixed with historical references. Coming in as the runner ups, we have Medic’s Mediocre Multiversal Adventure, a wild adventure into a different universe and Disco Inferno, a dark yet amusing comedy about the mercs!
First Place Comedy: War and Friendship by Anatolebahorel
Second Place Comedy: The Teacher by Hawk18727
Whilst not necessarily being action-packed to the brim or overflowing with adventure, the Action/Adventure is next. The stories submitted into this category are some of the best in the contest, full of amazing writing and solid submissions, which are laced with humour or drama. For first place, we have Write Some… More?, a recollection of events of Atticus, Ms. Pauling, and the mercs before this contest, followed by The Heavy Goes to Subway, a soothing tale of how the Heavy fell in love with, you guessed it, Subway. The runner ups in the category would be Operation Robot Reflex and Fortress Called Team, an intriguing story with notable appearance by the Eyelander and singing in tavern in the medieval times, respectively!
First Place Action/Adventure: Write Some… More? by Argeon
Second Place Action/Adventure: The Heavy Goes to Subway by Stamda
Drawing inspiration from the beautiful orange landscape of Australia and the grey fur of the kangaroos here, there were truly inspiring and beautiful pieces of poetry submitted to here. Unfortunately, only two could win. In first place we have the rhyming Spy’s Tale, literally recalling a tale of a spy, which is immediately then followed by Détective Noir, another tale about the Spy but this time much darker. The runner up was The End Was Nigh, a chilling piece where the mercs were both heroes and savages.
First Place Poem: Spy’s Tale by SPHthe2nd
Second Place Poem: Détective Noir by InfiltraitorN7
Runner Ups: The End Was Nigh by Argeon
I won’t present this, in the form of a haiku, that would be silly. In the Haiku section, the judges carefully looked through all the 5-7-5 poems and pondered, almost in spiritual meditation, which was the best one. In first place was a small haiku story which talked about maps and how they were fought on by the name of Tales from the Maps. Then was the haiku about the notorious demospam the mercs see every day on the battlefield called Demospam Haiku. For the runner ups, my audience, we had a collection of haikus from XYTWO called simply XYTWO’s Haiku Thunder, which addressed a number of things.
First Place Haikus: Tales from the Maps by Argeon
Second Place Haikus: Demospam Haiku by Davjo #2
Runner Up(s): XYTWO’s Haiku Thunder by XYTWO
I can tell that some of you are beginning to nod off. If you wish to not have nightmares, I suggest you wake up as we are about to discuss some of the most outrageous butcherings of the English language. I have seen kangaroos write nicer stories than this. The story that caused the most eyebleeding and brain trauma was Silly Shenanigans in Servers, which explains itself by it’s title.
Horridest Story: Silly Shenanigans in Servers by Demoman Is L33T
And right before we reveal our best overalls (no, not the pants), Rentz and Lasby, the brothers in business and publishers of the company have hand-picked what they thought best represented the English language. Mister Rentz and Mister Lasby are not here today, but they have left me an envelope with their English Picks. The envelope itself is empty, but here scribbled in pen I can make out Write Some… More?.
Rentz’s Pick: Write Some… More? by Argeon
Lasby’s Pick: Write Some… More? by Argeon
Ladies and Gentlemen, kangaroos and humans, I have the honor of presenting to you the best stories overall. The fascinating stories stood above all of the rest. Please give a huge round of applause for Best Overall Where Rainbows Come From and Second Best Overall to Write Some… More? !
Best Overall: Where Rainbows Come From by Hollandiae
Second Best Overall: Write Some… More? by Argeon
It’s been a huge honor to host and read this years Write Some Moar!, and hopefully you liked it too! The shorts stories will be published shortly and Atticus, our young writer, will be rescued out of his writer’s block. All of you have inspired him, and those who received places will get your rightfully deserved commission! For more information, take a look at the contract right here. And for the audiences, each of you will be given the option of receiving a free collection of all the submissions this year when you will be going out the door. Thank you for coming tonight and it was an honor facilitating the contest for you!