Red Shed Brewers presents Real Teammates of Genius.
Today, we salute you, Mister Determined Last Point Engineer.
Only a man of your caliber would even attempt as daring a feat as building on your own last control point as soon as the game started. The other Engineers on your team lack the foresight to prepare for the worst. But fret not, RED Team, for you have Determined Last Point Engineer, and no one is taking his point, except the Spy that just sapped all of his buildings.
Even in the face of your entire team asking you to move that gear up, you say “Nay.” You never know when a rogue Scout might go for an uncontested triple-back-cap. Level 3 Sentry and Dispenser at your side, you and your Eureka Effect are ready to defend the control point that’s so well defended, the other team isn’t even allowed to capture it.
The thought of forward movement is not scary to you, but merely unnecessary. You’ve always heard that “Home is where the heart is,” and your heart is right there, ten feet from your spawn point. The lifeblood of your team must be protected at all costs, no matter what.
No Demoman, no Heavy/Medic pair, no backstabbing snake-in-the-grass is going to deter your endless vigil. Wrench in hand, smacking your sentry even if it’s already full of ammo is not a misguided waste of time and effort. No, it’s something much more. You see, you care for your buildings in a way other Engineers can’t. Tender love and care is your doctrine, and anything that puts your Sentry’s life in danger is simply cruel. You wouldn’t put a newborn child on the front lines of a battlefield, would you?
We know you wouldn’t, Mister Determined Last Point Engineer. And that’s because where all your other teammates are angry, driven mad by the thrill of combat, you are calm, collected, at peace with your inner Engineer. While your teammates starve themselves, both hands on the keyboard, you enjoy a pudding cup, or a glass of water, maybe even some tea. And when your team loses, fists clenched in rage, you are stoic, composed, knowing that you did everything you could to defend that last point since the game’s inception.
So let those Spies sap your buildings, let those Demomen launch their stickybombs, let those Heavies and Medics deploy those Übers. You died doing what you love, defending the Control Point. And in the end, isn’t that what matters?
That’s why we salute you, Mister Determined Last Point Engineer. Take a bow, and crack open a fresh Red Shed beer, because when the going gets tough, the tough stay put.