Not The War Within

As people can tell from my recent posts on SPUF and via text chats, I’m in a bad mood. I’ve been ill all week, and, in a hope of cheering myself up, I thought I’d spend Friday patiently waiting for the War Within to come out and dive straight into a new quest line, while making a SPUF of Legend video of my gameplay.

Well, none of that worked.

Most of it really is my fault. I stayed up until 1am on Saturday. The update hit not long after I fell asleep. I got up at nine in the morning and it took four hours to finish downloading the update. In the mean time, most of my friends have already completed the stupid quest. Turns out most people have already finished the quest anyway, so there’s fuck all new stuff for me to reveal, everything has already been covered in the 12 hours that the update has been out.

Then I tried to actually record my gameplay. Unlike the majority of (higher level) players, I roll and sprint more than I bullet jump, which is easier on the eyes. But I can’t actually record any decent gameplay. Even on lowest settings, I get random 2-5 second stutters in gameplay, which can’t be fixed by cutting them out because the audio doesn’t stutter, it’s just the video. I tested this constantly, and if I couldn’t get killing 30 Grineer on E Prime to work, how the fuck was I going to deal with recording video of hordes of angry Grineer (and possibly Corpus)? Or my spamming of Volt’s abilities? Or the constant use of my flamethrower?

Even if I could record my gameplay, it would be at an awful quality. Warframe is a beautiful game, and whatever I manage to record, it really does not do the game justice. All you see are ugly, lost pixels, not the smooth, sleek world that Warframe is. Can’t even talk over it because I’m constantly coughing and spluttering, and the last thing you want to do when doing a playthrough is to cough and splutter over all the important dialogue.

On top of that, I already have an idea what the end-of-quest rewards are. I’ve been avoiding Warframe communities like the plague. No in-game region chat, no Warframe forums, no /r/warframe, nothing. I didn’t think there would be a massive fucking spoiler in the fucking League of Legends forums. Fuck them.

The three missions I have done so far have been… okay to say the least. Go to that place you went to in the Second Dream, chase Teshin, capture not-Teshin, leave, get sent by Lotus to capture Teshin, capture not-Teshin again, then do a stupid archwing mission where abilities and afterburners don’t work. You’re supposed to get to a ship, but by the time I get to the ship, it’s already gone past the giant red laser barriers, so I can’t continue the mission. Maybe I’m just dumb or something. I’m sure it all gets better later, but I can’t actually get to that later bit to judge it.

Teshin: "Wow, kid, you're so whiny." Retvik the Operator: "I hate you." Volt the Warframe: "I wish I wasn't just an empty suit."
Teshin: “Wow, kid, you’re so whiny.”
Retvik the Operator: “I hate you.”
Volt the Warframe: “I wish I wasn’t just an empty suit.”

But you know what makes this worse? I haven’t even LIKED what I’ve played so far. No matter what operator voice I pick, my character sounds like a stupid whiny bitch. This is made doubly worse for me because I named my account Retvik. Retvik is an adult; a wise, calm, strategic Rethavok, and a former general in the great Rethan Stratos. If I had known in advance about these Operators, I would have named my account anything BUT Retvik. I know my operator isn’t very old, but I feel like I’ve been snapped from immersion, hearing my beloved Volt snap at Teshin for calling him a child, in an annoying as fuck teenage child’s voice.

You know the voice I think Volt should have? None. Because he’s a space ninja.

Maybe I’ll get this quest done and give a proper review. But I just want to rant right now.


Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 45% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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