These are a few of my favourite guns~

As any gamer will know, weapons are the bread and butter of almost any video game, with the exception being some platformers, fighting games, and the Stanley Parable. And anyone who has played at least three different games will have a few favourites. With that said, these are my six most favourite video game weapons. And the only reason why I listed 6 and not 5 is because the last two are actually really close.

TF2 Represent!
The two least played classes in TF2 just so happens to have my two most favourite TF2 weapons.

Number 6 by a margin smaller than the amount of Heavy mains in TF2 is the Tomislav. As a flank Heavy, this gun has been my weapon of choice since the Gun Mettle update buff. There is a thrill to ambushing people with the Tomislav, as you hide and wait to spew lead into the enemy team. Those quiet moments when your gun’s armed and you eyeing from your spot at where the enemy team will be coming from are the moments that I associate most with this gun. This is the weapon for a Heavy operating independently and seeking to catch his foes by surprise. It is what makes me enjoy playing as a class most people will switch away from out of boredom, and it still allows me to be effective.

The Quick-Fix is at #5 (Does the QF even counts as a weapon?). The buff it received during the July 2013 update does wonders to this weapon’s status, although it’s argued that it is far from weak even before the buff. This is the healing device I rely on when I’m the only person on my team donning a labcoat, as this is the only way I can keep a team alive for long. I remembered there was once on Viaduct where I hit close to 5-digits healing s a solo Medic. Could be that the match was even more drawn out and painful than I remembered, or maybe the Casual MM statboard messed up, either way the QF is the ol’ reliable that I can depend on when I need to keep my team alive and necromancy isn’t an option.

It’s interesting to note that both weapons were, for quite some time, considered to be inferior versions of their stock counterparts. Now, they pretty much serves as sidegrades that are more-or-less equal to stock, and in some occasions even outshines them. It’s nice to see how these two escaped the mediocrity corner and became stars in their own right. So Valve, listen, I know you can do it. Buff the Sharpened Volcano Fragment. It’s been almost five damn years since you did anything gameplay-wise to it. Get on it.

Hijacking a helicopter~
Would you kindly give me this helicopter?

Weapon number 4 is the Grappling Hook from Just Cause 2. While the JC3 version is far more powerful and versatile, it doesn’t make my personal list because I haven’t played Just Cause 3 yet. And the same can be said for the TF2 Grappling Hook, but that’s also not in the list because it requires me to play Mannpower to use it, and the only thing I hate more than that game mode is Sniper Wars.

Another demo

The Grappling Hook is definitely the highlight of the game aside from the enormous, beautiful, varied and impressively optimized environment, the wanton destruction and ridiculous physics engine that got turned up to eleven in the sequel, and the set pieces that went overboard so much it became hilarious to look at. You can use it to drag snipers taking cheap shots at you from above watchtowers to their deaths, scale buildings and mountains, hijack vehicles and best of all, take out vehicles during car chases. One memorable moment is when I’m standing on the roof of a car while being chased by a military jeep. I hooked one end of the cable onto the jeep and connected the other end onto the overhead bridge above us. It caused the jeep to fly up and do a 720° flip, before gravity slams it back into the ground and turned it into a smoldering wreck.

Using it in conjunction with the parachute, you can fly across the beautiful land of Panau at a speed matching that of a sports car at full throttle. The Grappling Hook also serves as a melee weapon. You might expect Rico Rodriguez to use those bull horn looking things as overcompensating knuckle dusters, but no. He actually uses the cable and grappling claw as an impromptu morning star and beat people up with it. Overall, it is eighty meters of physics-defying metal cable with a claw at the end that makes Scorpion feel inadequate, and I should really go get Just Cause 3 someday.

Alyx with a Gravity Gun
Arguably two of the most loved aspects of Half-Life 2

Number 3 goes to the Gravity Gun from Half-Life 2 for being one of the best ways to turn a giant sawblade into something a lot more lethal than it should be (keep Gordon away from Sawmill, seriously). It grabs tables, cupboards, bottles and anything solid and chucks it forcefully at anyone incoming. I still remember trying to fend off zombies in Ravenholm by shooting them with whatever’s left of a table. Of course, there’s also sending sawblades, bricks, and explosive barrels for maximum destruction. Rock-it Launcher, eat your heart out, come back when you can grab a sentient electric deathball flying towards you and send it back to the sender.

Of course, the supercharged version is far more powerful and allows any incoming foe to become your source of ammo, but the pumpkin spice version is still the one most people recognize, and is definitely a unique, fun and powerful weapon in its own right.

The oversized toothpick dispenser
Van Helsing can only dream of owning such a beauty

My second most favourite weapon is the Stake Gun from Painkiller. You know this gun has to be special when it ranks higher than a gun that shoot shurikens, lightning, and lightning-infused shurikens. It also beats out the rocket launcher with a minigun serving as the alt-fire. As awesome as the the last two sound, it really isn’t as fun to use in-game. The shocking shuriken shooter in particular feels really weak and underwhelming, much to my disappointment when I found out after hearing so much about it. The titular Painkiller is a blender on steroids which features a laser rope launcher/grappling hook, but it doesn’t make the list because as fun as it is to reduce your enemies into a meat smoothie, Painkiller the weapon isn’t exactly that useful at range.

The Stake Launcher isn’t exactly the most lethal weapon that exist. Hell, it isn’t even the most lethal weapon in the game it is from. But what it does really well is impaling people onto the nearest surface behind them. The primary fire shoots out what looks like a sharpened sapling at your enemies and pins them sprawling painfully onto a wall. When I first got the gun and managed to do that, I winced slightly as the unlucky chap I was fighting got impaled onto the wall with a splat. Failing that, it’ll at least send their bodies tumbling back with half a small tree stuck on their torso. The secondary fire shoots a grenade that blows up, as all grenades do.

The catharsis of turning enemies into wall decorations with the toothpick of a titan can’t really be overstated, but what really sold this to me is the sound and visual design of this gun. The way parts of the gun jolt back while launching the stakes, the squelching sound when you pin ghouls onto walls, and the reload animations that ends with a stake being loaded into the launcher with an audible wooden clunk. The gun looks powerful, sounds powerful, and feels powerful as well. It is simply a beautifully designed weapon that is a joy to use and fire. Also did I mention it can pin people onto walls?

And now, my #1 most favourite weapon comes from Serious Sam series. I will say this first: this series features a whole bunch of weapons that I quite enjoy using. Just look at the video below:

Serious Sam 3: BFE is the first game I played from the series. As you can tell, almost every weapon in there is made for mass slaughter, except for the Sledgehammer and the Mutilator for when things get up close and personal, and the Sniper Rifle for when things get personal from a kilometer away. And my most favourite weapon of all time is… *drumrolls*

The SBC Cannon!

The best video game weapon
Man, this thing can’t look any more phallic even if it tried … wait, where’s the trigger on this damn thing?

The SBC Cannon launches cannonballs the size of a small car and it destroys your target, anyone around your target and whoever’s behind your target since it just bowls through anything that isn’t at least 12 feet tall. The horde mode moments in the game is when this gun really shines, as it can literally rip through a whole wave of enemies leaving a trail of corpses before it explodes. I… don’t really have much to say about this thing. I mean, it shoots cannonballs the size of an asteroid and hits like one, what more is there for me to say?

Looking back at the list, I realize it really doesn’t matter how lethal the weapon is. I mean, #5 is is healing gun. But what really makes me like a weapon is how effective it is and how satisfying it is to use it. The Stake Launcher and the Gravity Gun brings death in a gory, cathartic manner, the Grappling Hook is just fun to use and abuse, QF makes me feel like a god as I bring my teammates back from the brink of death and Tomislav turns me into a cold calculating hunter stalking his prey. And of course, the SBC Cannon is a giant middle finger to anyone unlucky enough to be in its line of fire. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how large the damage numbers are, all that matters is how fun the weapons are to me.

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