Vampiric Vesture

Scream Fortress 2014 brought to us, as usual, a bunch of Halloween-restricted cosmetics. Scout gets to be a zombie from another universe, Sniper’s a were-kangaroo, and Medic is now an angelic being with healing powers. Overall, I say that 2014’s haul of Halloween-themed cosmetics was plentiful and good.

Among all of these cosmetics, there is one I would’ve gladly bought and use it daily if not for the fact that it’s Halloween-restricted. I present to you, the Vampiric Vesture.

The Vampiric Vesture is part of the Dr. Acula set for the Medic, with the other cosmetic of the set being the Vampire Makeover. It’s a rather fancy coat with white frills and bibs, gold trims along the edges of the coat, and red insides with a black front panel.

To be honest, I doubt that I need words to explain why I like this coat so much. I mean, just look at it! It’s so posh and fancy, exactly like something a nobleman will wear. Or a vampire lord, I guess. But then, I suppose they can be considered nobility among supernatural beings.

This coat in itself isn’t exactly outrageous-looking, even when we are comparing it among the other cosmetics of its time. Certainly it looks rather reserved and tame now in this post-Potassium Bonnett age.

I get that the Vampire Makeover adds small vampire fangs into Medic’s mouth, but that is still rather subtle. I mean, seriously, have you seen some of the other cosmetics that doesn’t need to be Halloween-restricted?

Although now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a Halloween-only cosmetic set that contains both restricted and non-restricted cosmetics. And I do suppose that the fangs on the Vampire Makeover will qualify it for the Halloween restriction. But this is still ridiculous! The Big Steel Jaw of Summer Fun literally bolts a metal jaw on the Heavy’s head! Those small tiny fangs are barely noticeable. Besides, considering how damn dorky the hairstyle looks, I don’t think anyone’s going to equip it anyway.

Sure, we aren’t exactly lacking in fancy Medic coats. There’s the good ol’ Foppish Physician, for starters. Das Fantzipantzen is literally just “The Fancy-Pants” in horribly-butchered faux German. And one of my favourite coats, the Medical Monarch, lets you wear a nice-team-coloured coat with fur trimmings and swanky gold cords hanging around the shoulders. But the Vampiric Vesture still brings a unique look into the game, with its bold colours and rich appearance. This is one coat that I’ll gladly wear every day if not for the Halloween restriction.

As for cosmetic suggestions, I … really recommend not using the full Dr. Acula set. I can’t really stand the look of that hair. Guano is an obvious choice, but Archimedes the Undying is a great pet to go with it as well, as well as the Dead Little Buddy. Other than that, hair like the the Mutton Chops and the Einstein looks fine with it too (side note: does sideburns count as facial hair or hair hair?). Beards like A Brush with Death and Ruffled Ruprecht gives Medic an old and venerable look when worn with the Vampiric Vesture, while cosmetics like Second Opinion, Blighted Beak, and Shaman’s Skull gives a feel of an occult practitioner from a bygone age.