Smallnaros

“Welcome to my throne!” Inaros beamed as he welcomed Volt in with open arms. The room was filled with Ayatan Sculptures, all thrown into a vaguely chair-shaped heap. Around the base of the Ayatan heap was a small collection of noggles, most of which were of bobble-headed Inaroses. “What do you think?”

Volt glanced around the rest of the room. Everything was black with red highlights, all matching a very specific theme.

“I think I left you alone for too long. I was gone for a few days and boom, you’ve made yourself into a tank and turned into the edgiest Smolt around.”

“I’m not Smolt any more!” Inaros tutted, getting up from his badly made throne. “I’m Inaros! The Proud! The Powerful! The “Not sure what to do while I wait for a chance to beat the Lotus!” The Almighty! Seriously, I did all those… things and Lotus is so obviously the bad guy! When do I get to stab her with that sword that long-armed bastard gave me?”

Volt shrugged. “I don’t know either. Did you need some help with something?”

Inaros bullet-jumped across the room, out of the door and to his arsenal, sliding across the floor. He sighed then rolled over to Navigation. Just like the back room, the navigation area was decorated in red and black.

“No, I’m good. I wanted to show off. Look how far your little protege has come! Look at your little Smolt now!” Inaros made his way to the navigation console, tapping idly on it. “I have so much! I have done so much! Now I can kill high level enemies and do what you can do!”

“Do what I do?” Volt asked.

“Yes. Pretty much everything.”

“Like… like Sanctuary Onslaught? Eidolon hunts? Liches?”

Inaros paused. “Well, I haven’t done those, but I could if I wanted to!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, totally! But really my quest right now is cosmetics! I need those fancy ephemera and things like that! That reminds me, I need to kill my Lich. I accidentally stabbed a little guy and he turned into one.”

Volt crossed his arms. “I thought I told you to NOT stab little Kuva Lavalings?”

“But it was sooooo tempting!”

“I told you not to though.”

“But I couldn’t help myself! It was Grineer scum! It was marked by the fat Kuva guards and everything! I HAD to stab it!”

Volt rolled his neural sensors, tutting. “And now you have a Lich.”

“Yeah, I do, but it’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Volt sighed, then wandered off, inspecting the rest of Inaros’s ship. Everything was just as red and black as the main rooms. It somewhat reminded Volt of himself, with his obsession with yellow. It was kinda cute, but the edgy Kuva style gave off a vibe that Inaros didn’t quite match up to. He was too pure and innocent to be aligned with such a notorious colour scheme.

“Uh, Volt, you still here?”

“I am, what’s up?”

Inaros sheepishly peered around the corner. “Can you… give me a hand with something?”

“Like what?”

“Can you… help me kill my Lich please?”

Volt nodded. “Of course, Smallnaros.”

Inaros blinked in confusion, then suddenly burst out laughing. “Oh, Volt, you always have such great nicknames for me!”

“I do. Now let’s go kill this Lich of yours…”

Medic

Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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