Things I’d Like to See in the Summer TF2 Update

Editor’s note: This article was written way before Valve decided to subtly change some text, indicating that the summer update was not a real update, just another cosmetic one. So feel free to ignore all of this since it’s no longer going to happen.

The other day, something amazing happened. A blog post appeared on the TF2 website. Not just any blog post, but one that had good news in it and wasn’t about some sort of community event. This blog post was a call to arms, a rallying cry to anyone who makes items on the Steam Workshop, to get into gear and start making stuff for a TF2 summer update.

As to what this update will contain, I have no idea. And Valve seems to have no idea as well. No theme was requested in the blog post, we were told to go ahead and make whatever we feel like. Not just hats, but maps, war paints and unusual effects as well. A bit of everything. It’s all rather clueless and haphazard. Heck, all we really know is that 1. there will be a TF2 summer update and 2. it will contain things made in the Steam Workshop. And since we don’t know, here’s a bunch of things I’d like to see in this strange update.

More semi-unique game mode maps

Maps are always a good thing. You can argue that there are too many maps already, but that’s part of their charm. There’s always a map to play on, no matter whether you’re a newbie or a veteran. And community servers also have a lot of custom maps. We have map types where there’s currently only one map available, but we also have game modes that could do with some loving. I miss the somewhat unique maps like 3CP, which works just like 5CP but with less control points. Or what about unique capture the flag maps, like Convoy?

What I would really like though is a return of the Arena game mode. Arena mode kinda got silently thrown away. You can still play Arena mode, but it’s buried under some undisclosed location in the depths of Quick Play, permanently unplayed. I should point out though, I want actual Arena back, not Arena Respawn or any of its variants.

Some new weapons

I really doubt that we’ll get any new weapons, but I still do fancy some new stuff. While I don’t expect new weapons for Medic (which is a balancing act no one wants to face), other classes getting new weapons is nice. Heck, we could share some weapons. I don’t know why but the image of Heavy using Scout’s or Engineer’s pistol is hilarious to me. Heck, they don’t need to be actual weapons. We could have some skins for default melee weapons, like the Batsaber or the Frying Pan. Those are always a bit of fun, even if they’re pretty much useless.

Something for Heavy

Considering that Heavy is the poster child for Team Fortress 2, he doesn’t really seem to be up for much. Unfortunately, his attempts to get something more were stripped from him by Pyro, who is an asshole who doesn’t obey the universe’s rules. While I very much doubt that Heavy will ever actually get his own update, it would be nice to at least give him, well, something.

Something for everyone, that doesn’t require getting your wallet out

Frankly, this is what I want most. Most of the updates we’ve had, they only really feature stuff that you have to buy, mainly by purchasing keys from the Mann Co. store. Sure, you can get a handful of items at Halloween, but they are all locked to the event and aren’t visible after Scream Fortress ends. And they’re often untradeable. Sure, all the maps are free to play on, but that’s always the case.

All that being said, I don’t think we’ll get any of the things on this list. But it’s good to be hopeful. After all, it’s the first proper update in years, and we don’t even know what it will be…