Health Points and You

You're ALL on fire?
You’re ALL on fire?

I’m going to rant. Ranting is something that Medics do often. It’s understandable really. In a low-skill environment, Medics have to work far harder than anyone else to get anything done. Moving up the skill ladder eases these issues, but they’re still there. The problem not only lies with the Medic himself, but with his team and who he’s healing.

Today’s rant is about how people look after their health. Or don’t.

So, you’ve just been hit in the face with a rocket. That did, what, 80, 90, 100 damage to you? Depending on what class (and ultimately how good at TF2) you are, now would be a good time to get some health. Simple maths here, folks. 125 – 100 = 25 health. Running around with 25 health isn’t really a good idea. Running around with 45 isn’t so bad, but still a bit iffy.

That’s where I come in. I’m a Medic. I can heal you. I will heal you. This is also where the rant starts.

First of all, stop spamming Medic if I’m coming towards you. I can see that giant Medic call over your head, so shush. I’m going to heal you. You might not be the first in line. In fact, there may be five other people needing heals too. Where’s Engineer when you need him? But seriously, shush. I’ll get to you.

I’ve mentioned heal orders before, and I’m going to mention them again. If you’re a Soldier who’s on fire, I’ll heal you before a Scout, but if you’ve just stubbed your toe while that Scout’s avoiding danger, you can wait. Thing is, heal orders isn’t just an issue for Medics, it’s an issue for everyone. You as a Scout need to know that a Demoman is more important than you but an Engineer isn’t. It’s just like teleporter priorities.

Enough of that now. You’re probably sick of healing priorities, you just want me to heal you. Okay, I get that. I’ll happily heal you. It benefits both of us. But healing isn’t instantaneous. It takes time. The whole healing mechanic behind the Medi Gun is designed to reward those who strategically retreat instead of just dying and respawning, by increasing how fast you heal depending on how long your patient has been out of battle. Thus, if you’ve just been hit by a grenade or two, it’s going to take a bit longer for me to heal you back to full health. Just give me some time.

That brings me nicely to the thing that annoys me the most: people thinking they are invincible when they are not, and not thinking they are invincible when they are.

Problem the first: I can only heal a certain amount per second. That means I can’t protect you from everything. You need to be careful otherwise you’re going to get us both killed. This extends to other issues too, like rocket-jumping away before I’ve fully healed you, or you running into certain death. As a Medic, I put my defense in your hands, in exchange for giving you support while you kill people. But I can only heal you at a certain speed, the same way you can only look after me to a point. The issue is that a lot of people unfortunately push right to the limit, then whinge when they die.

Problem the second: When I Uber you, try to at the very least shoot the enemy. When you’re being healed, you can see how much Uber I have left (and I’ll generally say so if we’re all communicating) so go and attack them, particularly if there is a sentry ahead. Okay, I understand if I Uber you at less than 10-20% and you back off, but don’t try and run away while Ubered. It helps no one. Alright, sometimes it’s required, but still, you can see what’s going on too, right?

Maybe I should stop ranting now, but people forget that Medicing can be quite frustrating.


Medic, also known as Phovos (or occasionally Dr Retvik Von Scribblesalot), writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF since she doesn't have anything better to do. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Phovos has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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