For Those New to SPUF (NSFW)

SPUF can have a...weird sense of humor.
SPUF can have a…weird sense of humor. Picture from an old thread I can’t find, let me know if you recall its name.

Like all bodies of humanity, SPUF has developed its quirks, in-jokes, and commonly-referenced events. New users on SPUF might not recognize these, so this quick guide is designed to give them a stepping stone to understanding the insanity a little better.

lodsofemone – Referencing some British comedian, stands for “loads of money”. Usually pointed at Valve either after they’ve made a particularly unsubtle money grab, or the hypothetical situation would result in such.

“Soldier Update Confirmed” – Poking fun at Valve’s tendency to give soldier way more weapons than anyone else, even on updates named after other classes, anytime the soldier is mentioned or referenced or anything (even when he isn’t); “Soldier Update Confirmed” is implying that Soldier will once again steal the current update.

Sure is cOLD in here – Used when someone posts a thread about finding something everyone on SPUF has known for some time already. Bonus points if three other threads with 100 replies each already exist on the first page about that very topic. Rhyming variations like “gOLD, mOLD, pLATE” are possible too.

Jag whacking – Someone made a thread asking what happened when he whacks his jag. Cue immature masturbation jokes, and ever since the weapon can’t be mentioned without someone derailing the thread. Also sure to pop up when other accidental innuendos appear (i.e. “Fappish Physician”)

Chesse20/Hellfire/NinjaWarrior out of ten – Double meme, people like rating threads out of ten (I’ve never seen a rating that isn’t 0 or 10), and these were three famous trolls who made troll threads. Minor trolls include Thegg11 and Ze Medic and may occasionally be referenced instead. “Cheese20″ in particular is reserved for horrible weapon concepts.
**”I ate a sandwich today, etc.” – the proper response when NinjaWarrior makes a new thread is to be completely off-topic, usually about lunches. Can happen to other trolls. Happens less after the mods went on a timeout spree following a recent SPUF Sandvich party in a repetitive thread.
**”Didn’t you quit TF2″? A lot of trolls, notably Ze Medic, eventually make a thread declaring that they were quitting TF2. They then immediately return since it was an attention ploy, but SPUF never forgets.

Unusual Vintage Genuine Earbills with circling Max Heads – This and variations are parodies of expensive items by adding every single classic expensive item/quality into one conglomeration. Used when someone is either pretending to bid on a misplaced trade thread or explaining just how valuable (or ironically how little value) something discussed is.

inb4 – Someone sees a new thread and can already tell exactly what somebody is going to say (i.e. a thread called “Why doesn’t the pyro have any good melees?”). Rather than put effort into what will almost certainly manifest on its own, they merely add “inb4axtinguisher”.
** inb4lock: A thread is almost certainly going to be deleted or locked by a moderator.
** OP can’t inb4: Sometimes the person “inb4″ing is the original poster. This is not seen as appropriate as somebody else predicting the inevitable answer.

5char – Someone wants to write a short pithy response, like “Nope.” but SPUF requires a post of over 5 characters. This short sentence guarentees you make the minimum without ruining your witty brevity. Maybe replaced by copypasting your line (i.e. “5nope”) or the sentence preventing your post: “The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 5 characters.”

“You must spread some rep around before giving it to _____ again.” – After repping the same person too many times, SPUF stops you from doing it again with this warning. Shorthand for “cannot rep this user again,” and by proxy “I approve strongly with what he said.”

Tinfoil – Referencing the stereotype that conspiracy theorists wear tinfoil hats to prevent the government from sending signals to their brains, “tinfoil” is a nondescript item that SPUFers need “more of” once rampant speculation begins surrounding some unusual coincidence or cryptic message from something remotely Valve-related. Really sprung into common parlance after the ARG proved that not all tinfoil is unfounded.

Gaben/GabeN – Referring to Gabe Newell, probably in his guise as a trolling creator who will do things alternately for money, for spite, or for food. May also be called upon as a diety. Comes from him referring to himself as such in the developer’s commentary: “Please let me know what you think. I can be reached at GabeN@valvesoftware.com

SPUF – I guess I should define this. Steam Powered User Forums. The forum you are currently on. Sometimes refers specifically to the TF2 subforum, the subforum you are currently on.

SPUD/SCUD – When Valve recently made the Steam Community Discussion Forum and declared it the “Official TF2 Forum”, animosity arose between the dethroned SPUF and its new rival. Partly tongue-in-cheek, (SCUD claims to not give a damn about SPUF, SPUF likes to fight with itself and arbitrarily assign SCUD to one side and it all just gets really complicated), the alternative ‘SPUD’ is also used to synonymize with “potato” slang for a bad TF2 player.

Nerf – Make a weapon less powerful or add an additional downside. Reference to the harmless air-powered toy gun franchise.

Buff – Make a weapon more powerful or add an additional upside.

DAT BISON – The Righteous Bison, considered a balanced-if-underwhelming weapon in TF2 proper, quickly established itself as an unstoppable beast in MvM due to its penetrating projectile shots. It now has a religious order and eponymous catchphrase associated with it. But it originally came from TF2Tightrope, in a Horde mode where players with Valve level weapons would fight against AI bots. It was quite amusing. Have a link.

Pub stomper – Someone who plays TF2 only to destroy new or unskilled players for fun with their l33t skills. “Pubs” are regular TF2 servers filled with casual players, as opposed to the competitive sphere.

Economy – The TF2 “Economy” tracks and compares the values of all items in TF2 and refer to the pool of buyers and sellers and their goods at any given time. If you trade an item for an item, you are in the TF2 economy. Valve has agreed that this economy exists when they hired an economist to analyze it, who has also developed some infamy as a shadowy figure watching the economy and supposedly manipulating it to his whims.

Basic trader terms – A ‘trader’ is simply somebody who trades TF2 items, but if used disparagingly probably is more specifically targeting those who spend more time trading the items of TF2 than playing the game itself. A ‘lowball’ is an offer on an item considered far too low for its econoic value. A ‘shark’ targets those who do not know the economic value of their items to unethically trade them for ridiculous value. ‘Scam’ refers broadly to any sort of unethical trading procedure.

Trader – The kind of person spouting profanities and insults. Wears items with a high value, typically with Lime or Pink paint applied, and Unusuals of varying type. This kind of person also uses the best Stranges available for the class. Called “Trader” because (s)he may have traded lots/very little for what they have.

Canteen God – Due to a glitch where cosmetic items can get stuck in weird places, typically on Spectators, this refers to one such case where the cosmetics formed a Canteen equipped with a Demoman loadout (U. Prince Tavish’s Crown with Sunbeams, Gold painted Ornament Armament and a Gold painted Dangeresque, Too?, and a Gold Botkiller Sticky Launcher), forming an image of a divine spirit.

Soldier angered a Magician – Used as a flexible answer to a question with a not well known answer. Comes from the fact the Soldier angered his roommate, Merasmus, by eating all his “Kill-me-come-back-stronger” pills (percieved as heart medication). Creating the giant fuss that became the Spectral Halloween Special update.

Nope.avi – Typically a way to say “Nope.” in the style of the Engineer. The video portrayed the Engineer saying “Nope.”, then having his neck extend. Can be seen virtually everywhere, usually with caricatures of an Engineer with an elongated neck.

Shoot, jump, crate – When the Mann-Conomy update was released, it introduced an item called a “Mann Co. Supply Crate” and added it to the drop system. Because a crate drop can occur virtually at any time, this case refers to when the starter shot someone, jumped, died and then got a crate drop. Ergo, Shoot [someone], Jump [out of the way, then die seconds later], [get a] Crate [[as a] drop].

inb4 –┬áJust thought we’d put this one in again. Inb4 people call Medic out for editing already-published articles.

Pink Hearts – An honorable mention, posting something with a curse word in it will usually replace the curse word with what appears to be a pink heart. The coloring code will activate in the post, but not if the curse word was in the title.

Special thanks to Mister L for coming up with some of these definitions. If I missed any, definitely let me know in the comments.

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