Blood on the Water, almost – The new TF2 Comic

bloodonthewater

So, we FINALLY got the next issue of the TF2 comic, Blood on the Water. And it’s been a bloody long wait. Rather insultingly, the blog post writer said that it was early, as the comic is now yearly. I’m assuming that’s a joke but you never know with these guys. For all we know, the last issue will coincide with Half Life 3 or 4 or something. Anyway, if you haven’t read the new comic yet, read it now, as this article is FULL of spoilers and I wouldn’t want to SPOIL things for you. No sir. Click here to read it.

Blood on the Water is rather different from the other issues. It reveals more stuff, like what the Administrator was doing and where Engineer has been all this time. But the story mainly focuses around Sniper. As in it’s all based around Sniper and his origins.

And what do we find out? Tons of stuff. The entirety of Sniper’s origin is a massive parody of Superman’s origin. The key differences are that Sniper’s real parents are from an underwater Atlantis/Rapture-like version of New Zealand and, unlike Superman’s parents, Sniper’s real parents are douchebags. The saddest thing though, apart from the fact that Sniper’s a Kiwi and not Australian at all, is that Sniper’s Courage-The-Cowardly-Dog family are dead. They were far better than Sniper’s real parents.

What else do we see? We see a bit more of Soldier and Zhanna. I wonder if her inclusion is only to make TF2 porn writers/artists happy or something, giving people some to ship other than Scout/Miss Pauling and Heavy/Medic. They appear to like each other quite a bit. Poor Spy though has had to babysit them, like he normally does.

Scout and Heavy in the mean time are sent off to Ayers Rock, which is secretly a giant Australium mine. There, they bump into Saxton Hale and Mags and plot to stop whoever took all the Australium. Not much else happens though apart from Scout being strangled again and everyone mocking his size.

Meanwhile, we see where Engineer’s been. He’s been working with the Administrator directly. She has a life-extending device as well. And that ALSO runs on Australium. We only see Engineer for a bit though, but he’s still had as many lines as Medic.

So everyone’s gone off to find Sniper’s parents, who also have access to Australium. Sniper’s dad has been using the precious metal to paint his spaceships that keep on exploding. The last one though is ready to go and actually works, but Sniper’s drunk mum steals it and flies off into space, making a giant hole in the underwater dome that’s protecting this underwater New Zealand. Sniper’s dad then steals the mercs’ submarine, which Spy found earlier.

The whole thing ends with Sniper being shot by the TFC Sniper. What will happen next time? Who bloody knows.

Thoughts on the whole thing? We’re going to need a huge deus ex machina to get out of this one.

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