Medic, Oh Medic, Please Rescue Me
Medic, oh Medic, please rescue me
I don’t like it here; I long to be free
Medic, oh Medic, will you not save me?
Save me from his antics (and misery)
Medic, oh Medic, am I forgotten
As I’m right next to a heart quite rotten?
Medic, oh Medic, I hate it in here
His brain is just full of chicken and fear
Medic, oh Medic, how he tires me
Despite warning, he dies to a sentry
Medic, oh Medic, tell him not to taunt
When he kills spies whose Dead Ringers they flaunt
Medic, oh Medic, will he ever learn?
By taking teles, his team’s ire he’ll earn
Medic, oh Medic, please tell him to cap
He’s either at spawn, or lost on the map
But, oh Medic, there’s a way to save me
Gib him with an explosive – or two, or three
Medic, oh Medic, please destroy the Scout
Lewd Miss Pauling thoughts, I can live without
Medic, oh Medic, please rescue me
I don’t like it here; I long to be free
Medic, oh Medic, do hear me out, please
Signed by your faithful friend, Archimedes
Save Archimedes! Gib a Scout today!
Fun fact, if you gib a Scout, there’s a chance that a dove might escape and fly away, a reference to the end of Meet the Medic, where Scout gets his Uber Heart with Archimedes still inside him. Also, before the Uber Update, stationary doves appeared across several maps in various locations, which would explode but deal no damage if shot or damaged in any way.